Personal development is doing activities that develops our capabilities and potential that enhance our quality of life. It takes place throughout our lives that can include official and informal actions through structured resources such as coaching programs or the company we keep. What many of us are truly longing for is continuous growth within ourselves. Much of why we become bored or unsatisfied is because we stop progressing due to fear of failing which comes with trying new things or we become too comfortable with the way things are. Life will naturally change, and we should learn to adapt so we can thrive and not merely survive.
A few questions we should look to answer is, truly what do I want to do with my time and energy? How can I get to what I want to do with my time? What changes do I need to make to do so? The results of improving ourselves is a richer life not just in terms of money but of experiences, makes us happier and live fulfilled and allows us to reach our biggest dreams and aspirations which comes through the skills and experience we gain. It keeps us motivated, provides us sense of direction, makes us more confident, and increases creativity.
For us to grow we must know what we are aiming for to provide a clear path on how we can get there which will help us live fulfilled.
To start the journey of our personal growth we must create a personal vision of our life. Write down how you envision yourself in 6-months, 1-year, 5, 10 ,15 years from now. Develop the vision for your life so you know if you’re heading in the right direction. Without developing your vision, you will be stuck in what you know or living the vision of someone else. Being clear on where you are going is vital. Without clarity and having a clear destination in mind you face confusion, feeling stuck, and the inability to make decisions. When you have a vision for your life making choices becomes much more obvious as you’ll be able to identify which ones will get you to what you envision. Your vision will remind you of you why! It will inspire you and help connect you back to your reasons for your journey, and it will keep you from giving up on yourself. Have your vision written down and look at it every day as unconsciously it forces you to think about it.
Examples of personal growth are:
· Finding acceptance & peace internally
· Developing self-confidence and self-belief
· Expanding perspective
· Better handling & responding to failures effectively
· Being adaptable
· Improving communication skills
· Learning to be more efficient
· Developing emotional intelligence
· Building stronger relationships
· Acquiring new knowledge and skills
· Gaining wisdom in finances
· Combining all the above to reach you aspirations & dreams
Personal development is an investment in yourself, which is devoting time and energy to a particular pursuit with the expectation of a worthwhile result. Whether it’s furthering your formal education or changing your life to be healthy, the results are more money-making and money saving potential over the long term. Investing in yourself is a powerful choice that says you value the potential that you possess and it’s important enough to give it the energy, time and space to grow and produce results. It is not a daunting prospect and is more accessible than ever to through reading books, online courses, certificate programs, or professional development groups that can help you develop your skills. You should invest in yourself because of if you don’t, no one else will. We should not look or wait for good things to happen to us, because the rarely do, so we must go and take action towards what we want.
Investing in yourself is putting off immediate gratification for a later time that can be much bigger and more powerful than if seeking immediate gratification. It feels good to have a donut as it rewards us instantly through the taste but not so good over the long term as it compromises our health. Having broccoli may not feel good instantly but over the long term it improves our health which helps us live more active longer. The drawback of consistent instant gratification is it erodes our self-control. When we are not able to wait for things, it can lead to a higher chance of getting into trouble. Self-control is a predictor of income, savings behavior, financial security, occupational prestige, physical and mental health, substance use, and (lack of) criminal convictions as an adult. Ways to invest in yourself is by:
Taking care of yourself
Mentally by surrounding yourself with people, content, and ideas that will allow you to thrive. Seek things that build and strengthen you and not things that tear you down. This can include accountability or support group, choosing to read or watch constructive content and pursuing great ides. Physically by eating healthy and exercising regularly. Combining both the mental and physical care ensures you perform at your best. Others will want your time and you must recognize if it interferes with taking care of yourself. If it does, saying no is vital to investing in yourself. Do not allow others to take time away from you.
Remember to laugh
It has been noted that the average 4-year old laughs 300 times a day while the average 40-year old laughs only 4 times a day. Laughing is a natural painkiller that reduces stress and boosts our overall happiness as it enhances our intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates our heart, lungs, muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by our brain. This causes us to relax. You don’t have to laugh 300 times a day to feel happy but remember to do things that make you laugh so you can enjoy your day. Some tips to help you laugh more is let it come naturally so you can enjoy it, seek what makes you laugh but not at the expense of others such as a funny show and remember to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes to not take yourself too seriously. Heal through laughter.
Feeding your imagination
Our imagination is an immense power that we should consistently feed. It is about making the impossible happen. Imagination is so important that Disney has a whole division known as Imagnieering which are dedicated to making the impossible possible and why they have stayed so relevant for several decades. It is the driver of innovations because without it, nothing would be possible. Albert Eienstien says “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” As we go through life we are told or shown to be realistic and this causes us to conform in our behavior, thinking and who we become. There is a reason kids are so imaginative because they still have not been exposed to the restrictions that are put upon those coming of age and adults. For many who are older, there is the thinking that life will beat out the enthusiasm of the young ones. We should fight to nourish our imagination because it ignites our passion and dreams so we can enjoy life. Ways to feed your imagination is by reading, singing, dancing, drawing, coloring, playing, enjoying nature, watching kids show, anything that stimulates your mind.
Journaling
Writing in your journal daily allows you to reflect and let go of things that otherwise cloud your thoughts and focus. When we are distracted, it prevents us from making progress in our lives and we become frustrated. Documenting what we are going through helps us unload the weight we feel, and it gives a different perspective that can help us overcome what we are going through. It helps us reduce the risk of stress that leads to a happier state of mind. Another great way journaling helps is by writing down ideas to help give it further thought which can turn new opportunities. Many times, only keeping thoughts in our mind can lead to them slipping away. When you write down your ideas, you are taking the first step in making them a reality.
Build your mindset
Mindset is a fixed mental attitude, belief and values about yourself and the world around you. It shapes the way you experience the world. All that you are comes down to the state of mind that you choose to live in. Having the right mindset is a prerequisite for happiness. Evaluate what mindset you have and determine if it’s helping you. If you are not happy with it work to change it by being conscious of your thoughts. Know which thoughts are destructive that you must eject when they arise and replace it with the thoughts that will help you build the mindset you want. Your environment or the people around can contribute to the destructive thoughts and find how you can minimize their influence.
Incorporate thoughts of “I have not yet accomplished what I set out but I’m working towards doing so” instead of “I failed and am not good enough to accomplish what I set out” this helps to instill that failure is not final and that you can better yourself through being committed to the required work needed. When things don’t go as expected always ask yourself “how will I respond to this”. Will I look to blame others or will I find a way to resolve this. Blaming others makes you give up the power you have, finding ways to resolve things empowers you to act. Don’t look for life to cut you a break but learn how to handle what comes your way.
Experience new things
When we venture into new things it can feel a bit uncomfortable, but it allows us to grow. This produces new neural pathways that strengthen our brains. The newer things we try and see it through the more comfortable we are when changes come our way. With each new thing we try, our mind saves these experiences that serve as a tool in our toolkit that equips us to thrive in life.
Seek new things such as traveling to different places to expand your horizons, try an unfamiliar sport, try new foods, meet new people, serve in something you believe in that is greater than yourself. This helps to be present in the moment and enjoy the daily things we go through. These new things force us to be alert as we try to figure a way to navigate a new route. Think to a time you were lost and how it forced you to attentively look to find your way. Experiences you have and how you respond to them shape who you become. They are impactful to how you see the world around you.
Build good habits and eliminate bad ones
The fundamentals to improve ourselves is forming and keeping good habits because it makes us act and perform regularly. Eliminating bad habits is also key to improve that way it does not offset the good ones we have. Habits are what we constantly do without having to think about it, whether good or bad. It’s what we revert in any situation we react to. Evaluate what habits you have and find out if they suit you. It could be complaining after things don’t go your way and you can change it by looking to what went wrong and how can it be corrected.
Your habits will determine how far you will go. Good habits to adopt is getting enough sleep, having a daily priority list of things that need to get done, a regular schedule to make sure you give yourself enough time to complete things or breathing exercises to help stay calm during intense times. To form the habits you want or eliminate certain ones you must consistently do behaviors that form these habits. So, if you want to create a habit such as consistently taking action you must behave in a manner that gets you going such as working out. This gets your energy up and makes taking action a second nature instead of waiting for things to happen.
Gain new knowledge and skills
The more knowledge and skills we acquire the more valuable we make ourselves. It keeps our minds sharp and adds another tool in our toolbox. This equips us with information on how to do things that better our lives. Think to what knowledge and skills will get you to your vision. It could be learning about generating and managing money, improving your communication skills, understanding the brain and human behavior or improving your leadership skills.
Take the initiative to gain valid information you desire and remember to focus on the fundamentals before advancing. Mastering the fundamentals ensure you will excel. Avoid comparing yourself to others as you do not need to justify to anyone how smart or accomplished you are. Don’t feel bad if it’s difficult in acquiring the knowledge or skills you desire, as longs you enjoy what you are doing keep at it. Don’t listen to anyone that tells you are not good enough. What matters is what you want and what you think.
Strengthen your traits
We all have traits that come naturally to us and is largely determined by our genetics. There is the belief that you are either born with a specific trait or not and the ones you don't have are largely left ignored or avoided. If you think it is too hard and can't be developed, then you are right. But if you think it is hard and it CAN be developed then you are also right. The thinking such as I am not smart enough so I can't learn or I do not have the will power so I can't do difficult things is false. You can improve on it but requires a strong commitment to develop it.
When things don't come easy to us, we think we can't do it and we live to avoid the difficult things. Remember that when things don't come easy and you want to be good at it you must continuously work at it until it is no longer difficult. This requires building tolerance to difficult things. The more you do challenging things the less intense it feels. Look to improve on your traits such as accountability, discipline, grit, persistence, initiative, composure, etc. as these will help you overcome challenges you face. Ways to improve these traits is through repetition such as doing new things that are difficult and sticking with it to strengthen grit and persistence.
Overcoming your struggles
We all have struggles we face on daily basis and some range in intensities. It is a natural part of life that is a necessity to evolve and once you come out on the other side of it, you become empowered and have meaningful experiences. Embracing struggles gives us the energy and confidence to face it. Your struggles and how you handle them is what contributes to who you are. It helps to understand yourself and the world around you. When you struggle you grow, when you don't you plateau.
Many times, during our struggles when we continue to work it, we make incremental changes. These incremental changes are so powerful because in the short-term it is unnoticed but over time significant growth occurs. We notice when forests burn as it can happen quickly but not when trees grow as it is slow to see changes. This thinking keeps us from making long-term changes in our lives that can better us, but we see it as no progress is being made. Remember that when you struggle the short-term pain you feel can build a stronger foundation for the next things that you encounter. Work to overcome your struggles.
Managing your emotions
Emotions impact our decisions, our actions, and the perceptions we have. They can be used to better ourselves, but they can also be destructive. Our emotions signal how we feel about a present situation and can be used to motivate us to act. Sometimes emotions can be short lived or can be long lasting and they need to be regulated to help you make good decisions. Allowing your emotions to dictate your life comes with extreme highs and lows. Reflect to understand how you handle your emotions and which ones you need to regulate properly to allow you to thrive. Ways to improve managing your emotions is to delay reacting so you process what is going on or recognize what triggers certain emotions and practice how you will handle them before it happens.
Be adaptable
Many of us make plans throughout our lives whether it’s a plan for the day, a party, traveling, business or our lives. What happens most of the time is things don’t go according to plan as unexpected obstacles arise that delay us or deter us from going through with the plans. But we must learn to preserve and adapt to see how make the plan work. It might involve changing the plan or making minor or major adjustments to how you do things. Professional retired boxer Mike Tyson says, “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth”. We all build things in our mind of how things will play out and when you do get smacked around you experience the shock that rocks our confidence. We must learn to absorb the shock, stabilize and work to adjust to what just happened. The more we can adapt to what we experience the better we can handle things.
Improve your decision making
The decisions we make affect us and the world around us. Our values shape the decisions we make, and the decisions we make shape the world we live in. It is a critical skill to develop good decision making that can vastly improve our lives. The situations you are in, are a direct reflection of the decisions you chose to make whether it was made today or years ago. Our health, safety, relationships, how we spend our time and overall wellbeing is directly impacted. Each of your decisions will set in motion reactions that will have many future decision crossroads that will impact your life. Inevitably your life will be a result of the choices you make.
While you may not be able to predict correctly how your life plays out, you always can make a choice. Work to understand the decisions you make and figure what leads to good and bad ones. Find ways to minimize bad decisions and improve on the good ones. Give big decisions time to think them over and make them in a clam mental state. Use your energy to make a few great decisions instead of thousands of mediocre decisions. The more we have things on our mind the more it negatively affects the quality of the decision. Work to simplify when possible.
Harness your focus
When you can properly focus, it can change everything about your life by giving you more opportunities, expanding your knowledge and reaching your goals quicker. Focus does this by helping you make better decisions and keeping you motivated. The more you can be in the present moment with your attention on what you are doing, the higher chance you have of doing it well. But focus also works against you if you do not harness it properly. Let it do to you as it may, and you'll find yourself looking for the easy things which tends to be negative. Be aware of what you focus on, and you'll know where you are headed.
Cut out the distraction, keep it simple, focus on one thing at a time and give it all your energy to effectively accomplish what you set out for yourself. Take breaks as necessary to refocus. It is preferable to focus on one thing for 20 minutes than on three different things for 2 hours as you’ll be more effective in short, intense focus than on long, mild focus. Switching between task or multi-tasking constantly interrupts the information you are processing which can lead to less than full effort or increase the chance of mistakes. Consciously being aware of what you are focusing on helps to remain on track and correct yourself if it’s slipping. Consistently work on building focus stamina in increments each day such as increase your reading daily in increments by 1-minute each day.
Executing effectively
Putting ideas and plans into place is what makes concepts turn into reality. This is vital for growth to materialize. The better we can execute the higher chance we have of materializing what we envision. Having a daily priority list is great way to help us a take action. Keep a maximum of 4 things that needs to get done to not become overwhelmed and make sure to write down enough details to remember the content. This can help grab you attention. Consistently take action and results will happen, it may not be what you expect but it works on refining how will you execute. Repetition is the mother of skill and the more you can repeatedly do something well the more the skill you will develop and confident you become in yourself. Don’t just do something until you get it right but do it until you can’t get it wrong. This helps build the muscle memory to the point you don’t have to think about executing but merely reacting.
Find your purpose
Finding our purpose is what we are all really striving for, it’s a continuous pursuit of something that is greater than ourselves. Your purpose gives you clarity, passion and allows you to live a fulfilled life that comes from internal drive to grow. Goals alone without a purpose can leave one feeling unsatisfied even when the goal is accomplished. The journey is where the entire experience becomes enjoyable with the highs and the lows. During those low points, your purpose is your guiding light that allows you to recover quickly. It gives us assurance in our lives, which is why people who found their purpose are so impactful. Make time to find your purpose by self-reflecting and being patient with yourself.
Track your progress
Many of us in improving ourselves will set big, ambitious goals that gives us initial conviction in what we are doing. During the times we fall short or feel we are not making enough progress there is a tendency for that conviction to wane. That’s why tracking our progress helps us see the growth that has occurred and not so much how far we need to go. Knowing how much we’ve grown provides us a great reflection point that gives us a confidence and motivation to continue to do so. This makes us accountable to ourselves and it helps us embrace the process of slow growth. Enjoy the road by celebrating the small wins and when failures occur always ask yourself “how am I going to respond”. How you respond is pivotal to how much you will grow.
When we don’t invest in ourselves, it represents an opportunity cost in terms of less earning potential later in life. When we chase everything but developing ourselves, we limit what we can become, feel we have no control of our lives and erodes the belief in ourselves. We all enjoy the pleasures that don’t help us grow such as being lazy, watching content that is not constructive or eating junk food. We can still enjoy these things but must do them in moderation so we can continue to develop ourselves. Fitting in time to lounge around the house and do nothing is a great to recharge but must be followed up with continuous strides in growth being made.
When we purse things that don’t allow us to grow, we are sacrificing our happiness over the long-term. So, if you decide not to invest in yourself because you are comfortable where you are or fear the road bumps in the future, ask yourself is short term comfort worth passing up on tremendous opportunity or is the pain in the short term worth the success in the long run. Opportunity does not wait to see if you're ready to capitalize on it, so you must prepare yourself for when the moment arises. What will you do to be ready when opportunity is within reach? Your quality of life be dependent on how much you decide to develop yourself. The more you do so the more choices you will have to thrive in life.
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