How do you come to view yourself? Do you think that what you are now is all that you're ever going to be, or do you think that you can work your way into much more? Sometimes the ability that you have and where you’re currently are dictate how you view yourself. That your past success or past experiences determine how much confidence you have and what you can do going forward.
There are certain things that naturally come to you with very little resistance whether it's the ability to excel in math, build things or athletic ability. And other things that are very difficult to grasp. These things that you're good at are good starting points to get you going in a certain direction so you can build momentum and develop yourself. But that alone should not be how you come to view yourself. It's a part of what makes you unique but that's not your complete identity. You can be so much more than what you currently are.
Those things that you're good at you can get better at and those things that you’re weak in or lacking you can also get better. But this comes from viewing yourself as what you could be instead of viewing yourself as what you currently are. The state that you're currently in is not final and it's not fixed. That only comes from you when you decide to put limitations on yourself.
The tendency to see yourself as is
Sometimes in the pursuit of getting better or doing something very ambitious you fall short of it, and this can dent the belief that you have. It can be taken as a signal that maybe you shouldn't pursue it. That the stars are not aligned to make it happen or it's not your destiny so it’s a waste of time to try to make something happen that is not preordained.
If you’re waiting on some sign to confirm who you are or what you are doing, then you’ll constantly need validation of things outside of your control. That your actions will be dependent on when things go right. And when things go wrong that means give up.
Each one of us determines where we're going, we all influence the positions that we put ourselves in. Sometimes in those rough periods where things are very confusing and unsettling it makes us question that maybe I'm not cut out for this. This is a natural thing to think about and even give in to. But just because things get difficult does not mean you should pivot to something else.
If you truly have a strong desire to go after what you want, find a way to stick with it and part of that comes from viewing yourself as what you could be. Knowing that the state you are in currently in is not it. That you can improve yourself and it starts with the mindset you have. What’s going to make it a reality is the actions you take.
When you don't have the right mindset it's natural for the survival part of your brain to make you doubt yourself and just go with the path of least resistance. It becomes about finding the easy way out. That's where you might get tripped up where you could tell yourself if I'm naturally not good at this then there's no point in me trying to work to get better. That your time could be better used somewhere else. Or it could be that you worked at it and not seeing the improvements.
It’s understandable we all want to feel like we're using our time wisely or using it towards something that we feel good about. The results that we see we tend to replicate the work or the action to continue to have those results. But when you don't get those results that you want that's where you can take one of two options. To walk away from what you’re working towards or to find another way.
The survival part of the brain is going to want you to walk away from what is not getting you the progress that you want. But with a strong and well-conditioned mindset you can overcome that natural instinct to want to give in and continue to work at what your pursuing.
How to view yourself as what you could be
To help overcome this tendency to want to view yourself as is and prevent the self-doubt from you wanting to throw in the towel, say to yourself out loud that you're a work in progress and that you're closing the gap from where you are now to where you want to be. Feed yourself with the right information that empowers you to continuously get better at what you set for yourself. So if it's about being a better person or being great at your craft it comes down to reinforcing the right things so you're mentally prepared to take action.
Avoid dwelling on the past whether good or bad, you can draw some confidence from the great things that you've done but you can also learn from those things that did not turn out well. You have to be careful not to rest on your laurels and not get hung up on the missed opportunities.
These types of things can get in the way of your focus to what you presently need to put all your energy into. Any type of distraction while you're executing to get better will impact the progress you make. I'm sure you found yourself in the position where mentally you're not all there where things are weighing on you and you're not able to effectively perform the task at hand.
Be aware of when this does happen and give yourself a period of time to process what was done. Setting aside a specific time to do this helps you fully work through where your mind tends to wander off to. So those times that you fall short in, reflect on what happened and always have some sort of lesson that was gained from it and tell yourself I'm going to move on from this and apply what I learn going forward. This helps you to resolve things mentally where it's not lingering, and you continuously make progress.
And in those times that you're feeling good about yourself put those things to rest as well were you tell yourself what I did in the past was great, I'm going to enjoy the moment and then after a certain period I'm going to reset so I can focus on the next thing that I need to do. This helps to not get caught up in what was done and prevents the ego from taking over.
Remember it is about building confidence that you can do what you set for yourself going forward but not letting the ego distract you from what was done. Confidence is focused on the present and the future whereas ego is constantly looking backwards validating all that was done.
Consistently look towards the future instead of dwelling on the past
We all have a natural tendency to view ourselves of what we could be but then for some reason or another the setbacks that we experience hinders our confidence that we can get to where we want. When that happens that's where it's about viewing yourself as is.
When it comes to wanting to get to that state of what you could be really state what you want in specific details. Say it out loud to yourself or write it out, have a plan of how you're going to get there. The more work that you can do towards this the more possible it becomes, where it's not this far off idea and it's more of an attainable pursuit.
From there you can self-evaluate to see where you currently are right now. Some of this might be uncomfortable or hurt to know that you might be lacking or weak in certain areas, but this helps you to have a starting point. Do the same thing as well where you talk it out or you write it out and you can review this, and it helps you become more comfortable in reflecting. This gives you more of an ability to be proactive instead of reactive where you're on the offensive and not being defensive, trying to validate why you are the way you are and can instead adapt and overcome and be better.
What you gain from this is the ability to self-regulate, to keep yourself on track and discipline to what you envision for yourself. This is going to carry you a long way because throughout life you are always going to face the reality of what can you do about it right now.
There will be times when things happen that seem unfair and how you respond will determine how the situation you’re in plays out. In the case when you view yourself as is it's not going to help you in situations that are hard because the tendency will be to give in to it. That it becomes about accepting things as they are and doing nothing about it because there's a sense of feeling defeated.
But viewing yourself as what you could be, you're able to crawl your way out of it some way somehow. This helps you in those areas where you might be weak in and knowing that you can develop and make them stronger. Maybe an area that you want to further develop is intelligence, to know what’s going on, what to do about it and expand your thinking.
This is not if you’re intelligent or not as we all have the capacity to think and rationalize. There's this common misconception that we're either this or that and when somebody says oh wow you're intelligent what's that indicate that everybody else is dumb. Part of this is being caught up in the moment where it’s about the right here right now.
Emphasize how you see yourself for the better and not what other see
Much of why you might see yourself as is, is because others see you as is. They're constantly assessing you to see if you measure up to a certain level of whatever it might be. Whether it's school or work or sports. The need for instant gratification or results right now causes patience to wear off thin. Many people are going to value us based on who we are at that moment, and this can affect how we see ourselves.
Be the one that changes that narrative to let others know that who you am right now is not who you’re always going to be, that you’re going to grow and develop into something much more. So a single grade on an exam or few exams or a certain rough periods in your life or poor results in what you're working on has not yet worked out is not final. These are only certain periods in your life that you go through, and they are not what define you. You define yourself by how you choose to go at life. To attack it, move with a purpose and rebound from the shortcomings. The adversity that you face is an opportunity to strengthen yourself.
When you find yourself in those moments of self-doubt saying I'm not good enough to achieve what I want, to be who I envision, redirect that energy and say how can I be better, how can I develop myself into what I want to be. This helps challenge you in a way that gets you to give your best as opposed to just digging yourself into a hole. Sometimes the biggest challenge that we all face is ourselves because we put limits on what we are capable of.
The mind obviously is a very powerful thing whether you think you can or think you can't you're right because eventually you're going to find the information to reinforce what you're thinking and saying and it’s going to affect what you believe. The amount of belief that you have in yourself is going dictate how much energy you're going to put going forward.
If you don’t believe that you can do it you’re going to give very little effort, but if you have an immense belief that you can you’re going to give it your all. Come to cultivate that belief that you can, find whatever it is you need so you can build that momentum that you're working your way into something greater. And when you're not getting the results that you expect or wanted remind yourself that you're working towards getting better and you'll figure it out some way.
Work up to how you view yourself
It's going to be important as you see yourself as what you could be to manage your expectations and gradually work into them. Work in stages to manage your confidence and avoid being overly critical. If you're just starting off in sports and it's your first time playing basketball or baseball it's OK to dream and have the aspirations of making it to the big leagues but also don't let that be your sole focus. Start off by viewing yourself as a hard worker in practice, someone that pays attention to what the coaches have to say that can better you and do the fundamental things well.
And as you do this it can improve your performance. Eventually you can view yourself hitting many home runs, having a high batting percentage or being a dominant basketball player scoring many points defending the court well. Then you can gradually set your expectations or your standard a little higher where you get acclimated well to it. Too high a standard it can feel like it is too much and unreasonable making it daunting. This sometimes is the case why someone will shift from seeing themselves as what they could be to what they are.
The standard they had initially was too much from where they currently are to where they want to be that it chips away at their confidence and when you fall short enough times or the progress has not been enough to satisfy you, it can cause reversion where you accept that you will stay the same. It’s important to work your way into what you see yourself. Have that big ambition of what you will work your way into but have a starting point to build momentum. Build it up enough that you can attain it and then when you do you see yourself into much more. You chase you becoming better.
It's important to see yourself into more than what you currently are because it makes the climb, the path that you take a lifelong adventure that is thrilling. It also helps you embrace adversity which is something we all will face. The better you can handle it the better for it you will be. The future will be seen with enthusiasm instead of just clinging to the past. With that enthusiasm, you’re equipped to pounce on opportunities because of the constant work that you put into yourself.
What once was a weakness turns less into a liability and can become an asset if you work effectively at it. So if you were once bad at handling your emotions, where it got the best of you putting yourself in bad situations you can work on managing them. Eventually working vigilantly enough at it will raise your emotional intelligence where you put yourself into great situations. Things like anger or sadness are not bad things, but they are signals that something is wrong and when you can channel that emotion properly it can motivate you in an effective manner to resolve it.
Final thoughts
Embrace who you are because that is what makes you unique. Self-assess to gauge where you are and know what you want to transform yourself into. You can get better at whatever it is you choose with enough focus and commitment to it. You are not a final state, but always growing and developing into so much more. Be patient and understanding with yourself because the work in progress will be messy and frustrating at times. This will equip you so can navigate the rough periods effectively. Remember a moment in time is just that and not how things are unfolding. Treat yourself as is and you will stay as is. Treat yourself to what you could be and you’ll grow into it. Let yourself experience the greatness of becoming better.
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