Whatever your goals, intentions, drive, purpose, or your dreams are, coming to value your effort more than the reward can be extremely beneficial to what you're striving for. This can help you to manage expectations, disappointment, and the struggle along the way to help you see it through so you can continuously go after what you're trying to achieve. It makes that burning desire you have so much more sustainable because you come to embrace the effort that you put in.
The more effort that you put in the more you come to truly appreciate what you're doing that helps you enjoy the process. When you can condition yourself this way you feed more of that internal satisfaction as opposed to becoming dependent on external rewards. Internal satisfaction is independent of what you choose to do while those external rewards tend to only make you happy when you reach what you set out for yourself. If you come to think about it, the rewards that we tend to pursue only satisfy us for a limited time.
If you look at something as simple as eating, the main objective is to consume calories so we can function throughout our day, and we reward ourselves by eating foods that we enjoy. For some this could be having pancakes, having fried chicken, or a nice healthy salad. Whatever it is you choose to eat, you're rewarding yourself so you can continuously come back to eat to have the calories so you can have energy throughout your day.
But what about when you're not eating, are you not rewarding yourself? Is everything else not as enjoyable? Because if that's the case then it makes the whole process of whatever it is you choose to do a lot less enjoyable because you are only happy when you get the reward that you were trying to achieve. So, in a case like this if the reward is all about eating, then the other 20 plus hours throughout your day comes to be seen as the low points that you experience because everything is compared to needing or wanting to get to the end goal. Now with eating foods, this is ingrained in us so we can continuously live and function properly. In this sense the external reward is going to benefit us. The better tasting the food is, the more rewarding it can feel to us.
What rewards signify
What happens when the reward is not based on the need to survive but only on what we desire. Things like certain accolades like trophies to validate all that time and effort that was put into what you were doing or material things like a brand-new car or a big house that signifies your worthiness. There is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve these external rewards as they can make us feel happy for a short period of time. The key should be to recognize that it is not the end all be all of what you're trying to do because if it is then you measure yourself based on attaining them. It makes you see things as good or bad, being enough or not being enough.
Does this mean when you reach something you're striving for you're good enough, but when you fall short of it, you're not? No, that is not the case as there are many times where you might have fallen short of what you're trying to achieve but you've made tremendous strides in getting to where you are at. The NFL football team Cincinnati Bengals in the 2021 season was filled with explosive growth as a team. Led by a 3rd year head coach Zac Taylor and a second-year quarterback Joe Burrow who missed over a third of his rookie season the year before because of a knee injury that required surgery. They made it to the Super Bowl but fell short of winning it. In the cutthroat world of the sports business, growth and effort are not valued but they showed lots of both. Their progression throughout the season was more impressive than anything else. And you can do the same if effort is the forefront of what you do.
Experiencing uncertainty
Life is filled with so many uncertainties and this can make us feel uneasy so when we achieve the outcome we are searching for, it eases that uncertainty that makes us feel that we were right in what we are doing. When we fall short of the goal, it makes us feel as if we don't know what we're doing. When results are produced it gives us physical evidence that the effort is paying off right now, and when results are not seen it makes us question what we're doing is wrong that can cause us to doubt ourselves. Results reaffirm that things are working while not getting results can make feel like all is lost. But when you can embrace uncertainty and forge ahead, you trust in yourself that you will find a way. Knowing that you can handle unsettling situations and not let it rattle you to retreat to safety.
To help overcome that feeling of uncertainty when those results are not being seen, come to value that effort that you are putting forward. This is really going to help you during those times of uncertainty so you can continuously push yourself forward that eventually leads to progress in what you're doing. You build that resiliency within you to get you through difficult times and breaks free from needing validation for what you're doing. It makes you more independent and allows you to stand strong even when you're by yourself.
Many times, all we really need is to continuously keep at it because with the more reps that you gain the more you come to find your rhythm, but this takes time to get to that point. It can feel frustrating and unsettling when we're not able to get on track, but this is going to help you stick with it until you find your way. If you have ever been in that position where you're working at something continuously but you're not understanding why things are not progressing until finally one day it clicks, it can be eye opening and a huge confidence builder. When that happens it can feel like a breakthrough where you just set in motion a wave of momentum that carries you through. Once you're able to get to this point it's going to reinforce why it's important to stick with something because it can lead to satisfaction within yourself. Knowing that you can weather the storm gets you more acclimated to the uncertainty that is always going to be present so you can navigate your way through as opposed to retreating to what is easy.
When we're not seeing the results of what we expect of ourselves there is a tendency to pivot away from what we're doing to save us from experiencing any more of that uncomfortableness by finding something that's familiar. But what we don't come to understand is how close we are to turning the corner. It's almost like you're traveling without a GPS system that tells you exactly where to turn and how much further you have to get to your destination. There was a time where you had to navigate your way through using a paper map or just asking people for directions and while it might not seem like it's a big deal, making one wrong turn can make it feel a bit overwhelming because you're not sure if you can get back on the right course or if you just continuously going around in circles. When you are going around in circles it makes it that much more frustrating.
The lack of results can feel the same way, wondering where all that time and effort went to that makes us question was it even worth trying. And the answer is yes because while you may not get results then and there, you're experiencing that uncertainty that makes you more acclimated to it. Just know that it is not a waste of time simply because what you expected did not materialize. Sometimes that's just a chance to reevaluate what needs to be done correctly. The experiences that we all go through are needed to help us navigate future roads and they're there as a reference point. It doesn't need to be this long list of accomplishments to show how great you are, but it should be used as a tool on how you can be better for it.
There is one sneaky thing to know about the things that we all achieve, they don't define who we are, only what we've done and sometimes that gets misconstrued. And just because it happened in the past does not mean it will happen again in the future. Avoid resting on your laurels and dwelling on your shortcomings but use them together to forge a more prosperous path for you. Your achievements can sucker you into thinking that you can do no wrong and those areas that you fall short of can chip away at the belief within yourself that you can do great things.
Celebrate your effort
Some helpful ways to value the effort that you put in is through celebrating those times. The harder that you work and prepare for something the more you can come to appreciate yourself. In times like this just tell yourself, “I love the effort that I'm putting in and this is actually setting me up for success later on.” Let out a celebratory shout or a reflection period each time you're able to continue to battle uphill. This is going to help you associate the hard things are well worth pursuing. Just come to think that intensity is the price of excellence. It should not be how quickly or how easy things come together but it should be about the foundational piece of how intense you are at whatever you choose to do.
The harder it is in the beginning, the better chance you have at sustaining what you want to do. For one it's almost like a filter trying to figure out how badly you want it because if you want it bad enough, you're willing to stick with it and find a way to make it happen. Second it builds up that desire you have almost like a plane gaining speed so it can take off, where in the beginning you're building that speed and then eventually you’ll take off and soar. This serves as a reminder in trying to achieve a certain outcome and what makes it possible is you getting better. Celebrating and recognizing the effort that you put in is a great way to foster the process.
Mostly what we celebrate is at the end, when the results are achieved and not as things are happening. Can you imagine if we were to celebrate when things got difficult. Would that change our outlook in any way. What if instead of reinforcing the successful results we reinforce all the work and commitment that leads to those same results. Where are we to cheer ourselves up for doing the daily things that propels us forward? Those days where we say man, I had a hard day and I'm stoked on how I handled it that I was able to see it through and avoid caving in. The more we can do this the more we get it out of our system so when the results of what we are trying to achieve materialize, it's almost like we tire ourselves out from celebrating along the way and it becomes less monumental.
If you think something as straightforward as soccer where the objective is to score more points than the other team to win the game, you hear the players and the fans just as their team is about to score a goal and it's missed everybody shouts ohhh in disappointment. The more this happens the more energy and pressures build up so when a goal is scored everybody exacerbates, YEAH in such excitement. In this context that energy is being built up to be expressed in extreme euphoria or extreme disappointment. When you can celebrate all the effort that was put in, the results aren't everything. It won't be a big explosion of energy, but more like a steady stream of water flowing that makes those moments were manageable and less overwhelming.
The phases of hardships are needed so you can do things well because it makes you pay attention to what is important. When you can come to understand this, you can slow down your focus on the things right in front of you so you can do all the intricacies with better precision and accuracy. This will shift your thinking from practicing until you get it right, to practicing until you can't get it wrong where it becomes so second nature that it becomes automatic. Each time you're giving maximum effort recognize it like you just hit your target. The more you can do this the more you come to emphasis the process of what it takes to reach your goals.
And whether you reach your goals or not they feel less intense, whereas the victory or defeat you experience does not dissuade you in any way. Sometimes in experiencing a high emotion when you're victorious is you might forget what it took to get there that causes you to not perform well the next time. Or that low emotion of when you experience defeat can make it feel like I don't want to go through all this agonizing pain again.
If you reach the goals that you set for yourself instead of celebrating it, almost casually acknowledge it, thinking back to all the steps needed to be taken care of to get to that point. If you happen to fall short of what you're trying to achieve, handle it the same way not making it such a big deal telling yourself, well this just means that I need to do each step better. This will help take away that power of being at the mercy of the reward, feeling like you just drank rocket fuel or feeling like you just been sucker punched in the stomach. Either one of these makes you experience a wild swing of emotions that takes a big fall or a big recovery to get back to your level headedness. So casually being able to deal with both ends of the spectrums is going to force you to value a lot more the effort that you put in.
Incentivize your effort
Another thing that you can do to emphasize the amount of effort you put in is to add your own incentives. Because we are all motivated by so many different things whether it's internal or external our behaviors are motivated by them. When you can you better recognize what might be motivating you to act a certain way or engage in specific behaviors you can tailor things to work for you. This can increase your chance of reaching what you set for yourself and makes the journey a lot more enjoyable.
The external things that we are motivated by are where the behaviors that we perform are to gain reinforcement or avoid punishment. Things like getting good grades in school or making more money are incentives so we can learn more and gain skills that ultimately increase our value. Or it could be just getting good enough grades and making just enough money to avoid being punished by your teachers and parents or avoiding not having enough food to eat or a place to live.
What motivates us to go after a certain reward is that it must be attainable because if it's not, it can be seen as too difficult and unachievable. The reward must also be important enough for the person to take action because if not it'll be uninteresting to them. These external rewards are often to motivate you to do things that you normally would try to avoid. Many people would choose not to work but they do it to have enough money to purchase things so they can continue to live with some amenities. Or they would do something like eating healthier to reduce health problems later on.
Once you know the things that motivate you, you can reward yourself for the efforts that you put in. Things such as if I work hard to develop the business proposal to make my business grow you can reward yourself by eating ice cream only after the proposal has been completed. Or getting your work or chores completed and then watching TV. These incentives in place can help you follow through on the work that needs to get done. This is a great method if you're trying to start off to get yourself going.
It's going to be important to not make the reward too big or too frequently as then you'll become too dependent on what's at the end of the rainbow. A great example would be working extremely hard each day so your business can continue to thrive only for you to constantly have candy each time you put your best effort forward. This conditions you to constantly expect a reward each time you give your best, dependent what you will receive. You want it to be just motivating enough to get you to take action.
Eventually what you would want is to have the internal satisfaction of what you do be the reward itself. In some cases, this can be simple for some people while others it can be difficult to try to incorporate. But the great part of once you get to this point is that you'll experience it a lot more often in a more moderated way where it doesn't spike your emotions too high that causes a big downturn that makes you feel unsatisfied afterwards. The more disciplined and accountable you are the less difficult it'll be to get to this point because you'll come to understand that moderation is key to really enjoying all the simple things around you.
You won't need to have big extravagant things to make you feel alive, but it'll be based on the work you do and the effort that you give. The more that you give yourself to what you do, the more you'll come to enjoy the daily things you get to experience. If you look at somebody like Benjamin Graham who was a well-respected and high performing money manager, he had more than enough money and understood he only needed a certain amount to live the lifestyle that he wanted, which was simple. But he continued to manage other people's money simply because he enjoyed what he did with who he did it with. This is such a great way to live. Where the external things are not as motivating as the internal desire you have to appease the appetite of the process.
Struggling with effort
Now there's going to come times where it's difficult to continuously every day give your best effort. Sometimes that focus or that drive is just not there where we have that off day and know that's OK but the key will be to prevent it from becoming a consistent pattern. There will be times when we are just tired and fatigued so you got to find what works for you. Maybe it's as simple as you're just tired and you need to rest giving yourself those lazy days to just reset can be extremely beneficial over the long run. These lazy days need to be taken seriously as there's no need to try to squeeze in some work here and there to convince yourself that you're constantly at it. Fully commit to it when it comes time to just unwind because eventually, you'll get restless from it and will be ready to bounce back.
Sometimes it could be your focus is just not there, maybe you have too many distractions going on. You could try to just chug along, or you could really give yourself some time off to process what you're going through to get your focus ready to go. The daily things that we all go through can have so many different distractions and for some of us we could be going through difficult situations so it's going to be important to address those times and not merely brush it off. Sometimes all we need to do is acknowledge the things that are occupying our attention, and this is enough to put things to rest where you're ready to go back at it.
Or maybe you might be struggling with the drive of pushing yourself. Sometimes in that competitive spirit the pressure of continuing forward even when you're sloshing your way through can feel a bit too heavy. Just find what works for you because not every day needs to be 100 miles an hour. Maybe those days where you're going 15 miles an hour there is going to come the next day when you're going 160. Look at the overall picture of how things are going and not solely a moment in time. If you look at the overall work industry, in the late 1700s the average work week was 72 hours. Then by 1860 the workweek declined to 68 hours and about 65 hours at the turn of the century. Then in 1930 it was down to 50 hours a week and then down to 40 hours in 1940. This proves that overtime we can find ways to be more efficient, that longer hours does not mean more production and this can mean the same thing for what you do in your life.
It can be difficult to sustain your best effort all the time but when you can recognize it, you can manage it and cultivate that desire, that drive you have to keep it going. It should not be so much about how many consecutive days you do what you do but the quality in what you do. The mind and body need enough time to recuperate, and it's more than just sleep but some time off to really decompress. Those times you might feel guilty that you're not giving your best effort, take a step back and evaluate how you can manage things that to work for you.
Final thoughts
Coming to value the effort that you put in above the results is going to condition you to really embrace and enjoy the process of whatever it is you choose to do. You'll be less dependent on measuring your worthiness in the form of results and more on how you choose to do things. That the more effort you give, the more satisfied you are in your pursuits. Naturally this is going to help you through difficult times because you understand that it's part of the journey and this is going to help you see a lot more things through. The more you're able to do difficult things the better equipped you are to handle all the different challenges you may face. The shortcomings you might be experiencing now is preparing you to have a stronger stomach so you can live ambitiously. The uncertainties will no longer scare you because you'll come to understand that you're getting closer to breakthroughs. Just continue to tell yourself to keep giving your best effort because it is the price of excellence.
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