How often do you talk to yourself out loud if at all? Do you find that is beneficial to work through the problems or struggles that you're facing, or do you find it crazy because of what others might think of you? You already talk to yourself silently whether you know it or not and that's going to dictate your outlook and actions. It's estimated that 800-1,400 words are said per minute during that self-talk. That is 48,000-84,000 words in one hour. That's a lot of words that can either empower you or disempower you.
This can be so many different things about what you're doing, what you're not doing, how you're not performing well, how you are performing well or what you can do to get better. This wide range of topics that go through your mind can be so conflicting, so confusing that it makes us just want to sit there at times. But if you know how to harness your self-talk properly, you're more likely to walk, act and perform with the purpose, with a higher sense of conviction. And the things that you say impact how you feel, that's going to impact how you perform. The better you feel the better chance you have of performing better.
If you're not conscious and careful of what that self-talk is, the default mode is to be negative to be overly critical of yourself. Looking for reasons why not to do things, why you can’t or that it is too hard. Those that understand the importance of that inner self talk know that it’s a big driving force to get them through those difficult moments, to come out ahead to what they were pursuing. Words are tools and when they are thought of or when they're spoken it triggers a picture.
Helps you perform better
Research has shown that self-talk can help your brain perform better as it helps sustain concentration and enhance performance. What happens when you talk out loud is that it limits your mind from wandering from one subject to another.
By being able to read out loud or talk out loud it limits those 800 to 1,400 words that are said per minute. It allows for your mind to focus a lot more on the things that are being said which makes sense why we can remember certain conversation as opposed to maybe what was read earlier that day.
If we look at the cone of learning which generally measures how information is retained, at the very top is reading which tells us that 10% of what we read we retain and then right below that is hearing things so when you hear words you're 20% more likely to retain it.
When you read something out loud or when you talk out loud about what you're facing you are twice as likely to retain that information and allows you to better work through it. Research has even shown that those that are able to talk out loud about the problems that they're facing are 78% less likely to make mistakes. It's just such a great tool to prevent certain simple things that can be an annoyance.
Better self-control
Another benefit to talking to yourself out loud is that it's a great way to better control yourself. This is in part that the things that are said out loud are 10 times more powerful than if you just think it alone. In those moments that you're facing adversity you're facing that failure or that embarrassing moment, by you saying to yourself a certain mantra or a certain encouraging statement it helps to reinforce that as opposed to just wanting to feel sorry and pity for yourself. It's almost like you're changing the narrative even though you've experienced a setback. This is an opportunity to pivot from going down that self-defeating road.
This is a vital part in mental conditioning that can be transformative. The things that you most repeat eventually become your habits and those habits transform you. Each and every one of us has certain triggers that bring out the worst in us and when we can recognize what that worst version is and what those triggers are we can better manage them.
And the words that are said especially out loud are brakes to help stop yourself from going into that worst version or at least limiting some of what could be. There are tools to communicate what to focus on, what to do. In a case where you get upset over someone stepping on your new favorite shoes or your food falls on the ground before you can take a bite, you can consistently remind yourself that unfortunate things will happen that are out of your control, but you can always control how you respond to the situations you are in.
Finding answers
Talking to yourself out loud also helps you ask the right questions that lead to the right answers. It is not only bound to telling yourself certain things which is beneficial but also having conversations with yourself. This is especially helpful when you feel stuck, not knowing what to do.
As you engage in dialogue with you, you’ll ask many questions and as you hear it, you’ll know if that is the right one because the answers tend to be a bit clearer.
Almost as if firing off through so many to evaluate the train of thought you’re on. Sometimes when you need someone to talk to, they may be unavailable in your moment of need and when this happens, frustration and feeling alienated may occur.
If that happens you can always talk to yourself to layout your troubles, your ideas to pick things apart to see where the holes are or just to offer support and guidance. If you actually reflect on many conversations you have with others you’ll find that just talking through things you find what you really needed.
Sometimes when people are there to just listen to us not trying to give advice, we solve our own problems. Just hearing yourself provides just enough to find your eureka moment, where you say what I was looking for was right in front of me the whole time and it just required removing the distractions. And many times just keeping it in your head may get jumbled and lost that it keeps you repeating things with no progress.
By you talking about the things that are bothering you it's almost therapeutic where you're solving your own issues. It will alleviate you being worried as your emotional and mental well-being improves. And if you try to suppress it or run from that difficult conversation you need to have with yourself then it's only going to get stronger that's going to continuously eat away at you. A lot of times the best route to take in those hard times that you're facing is to go right through it and avoid retreating.
Getting over the uncomfortableness
If you're not already talking to yourself out loud consistently, what's preventing you from doing so? Is it because it's viewed as only crazy people do this or that it's embarrassing how others are going to view you. Think about when you're just talking on the phone with somebody if it's not a video call then you're only hearing the person's voices.
But if you come across where people are talking and nobody's responding and then you go to look and notice that they have an earbud in their ear or headphones on and then it makes it understandable why they are talking. This shouldn't be seen as acceptable or unacceptable behavior if you want to talk to yourself out loud go ahead and do it. If people have a problem with it then that's a problem they need to deal with.
But if you're just starting to incorporate talking out loud to yourself in the beginning it's going to feel awkward and uncomfortable but the more that you're able to do this the more you break away from that feeling. Maybe you only want to do this when you're in private which is understandable but at least make this habit.
Remember it's vital that you have a great relationship with yourself and by talking to yourself it's going to strengthen that relationship. Sometimes you are going to want responses to the things that you're talking about maybe it's a question or feedback about what you're thinking so you’re going to have to be the one who responds. And the more that you can do this the more multifaceted you become and it's going to make you a lot more interesting.
Over time what you're going to start to notice is that not talking to yourself was probably more uncomfortable than actually talking to yourself because remaining in silence keeps you ruminating and feeling like you're stuck in place. You might even think why haven't I done this a lot sooner being my own best friend being my own mentor to guide me way through the struggles that I'm facing.
Final thoughts
You already talk to yourself on some level and you might even do it out loud on occasion but really embrace it and make it a part of your daily routine. Yes, in the beginning it's going to feel uncomfortable but the more that you do it the more comfortable you get with it. It's your chance to really let out things that are racing through your mind and it's going to give more clarity to the answers that you need by being able to sift through the right questions.
Sometimes others are not available to hear us out in our moment of need and if that happens you can be there for yourself. Showing compassion and listening to yourself. Where you have these conversations and take opposing viewpoints, seeing things from different angles is going to make you more well-rounded. It's like you catch the holes, the flaws, working through the complexities of the things that you might be thinking, and this is going to improve your decision making. Let yourself be your own best friend your own mentor because the great thing is that they're always available to you no matter what.
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