Once you're able to define what your success is, what's going to help you attain that, is your personal development. These two things are directly linked to each other but what gets our attention is success. Success has continuously been drilled into us because it means that we've gotten the results that we wanted. That it proves that we're somebody and we're worth being noticed by others. This helps us feel significant, that we matter.
We've been conditioned to just look at the end and are not worried about how to make it happen. Essentially our focus is getting those rewards but not coming to understand what it takes to make things happen. And then when we start to work towards what it is we want and realize how much work is required there can be the tendency to say it's just too hard or that's not reasonable. That's when self-doubt really starts to creep in and we're more hesitant going forward. If this is the case the first thing that we have to ask ourselves is how can I be better, how can I improve so I ensure that I reach what I set for myself.
Personal development is the driver of success, as it goes so will success. It is the foundation of why you can achieve what you set out for. Think about whatever you define your success as, it all begins with your overall development. If you want to attain a certain outcome it requires doing things that are difficult, where you face some sort of adversity and somewhere along the way you made the choice of being resilient to keep at it until you make a little progress and then a bit more progress until eventually it adds up to make a massive difference.
In that progress that you make the unseen or unnoticed things are developed such as your confidence, your grit, your ability to rebound from coming up short, your emotional intelligence, your ability to learn in different ways and applying that information. All these things make it possible to achieve your success, whether it’s trophies, a diploma, a certificate, landing the career you wanted, making the money you set out for, buying what you want or building the life you desire. They are the building blocks for everything that you make progress in.
Recognize how to develop personally
Personal development is something that is an afterthought, that it really makes no difference or somehow uncomfortable to talk about or even think about. It's natural for our tendency when things don't go our way is to find fault or blame why things didn't go the way we expected them to. That we're looking for things outside of our control and we can focus our attention away from where it is exactly we need to be better at. It's that defense mechanism to deflect some of those harsh or inconvenient truths about ourselves because we're trying to preserve in a case like this is the ego and not so much confidence.
The ego needs to be coddled and constantly fed on how great it is, and anything short of that will be quickly expelled because it is afraid of being exposed and vulnerable. That it is too weak to handle the facts. But confidence really understands the importance of needing to realize what the truth is because that is where the information lies in that is going to ultimately give us the answers on what needs to be done. It's strong enough to be able to withstand hearing or realizing those mistakes, those failures that were committed but being able to not dwell on it to find out what was learned from it.
As you develop so will your success rate because personal development is about learning and growing where you're acquiring knowledge and skills that ultimately better you. Where you continuously become the best version of yourself. This is done through many everyday things that get overlooked but we have become so enamored with the latest and greatest technique, routine or tools that skyrockets our success rate. Looking for things like the six steps on how to succeed.
The foundation of your success is an internal process that is unique and the right fit for you, and this is difficult to measure so the results or progress that is made goes unnoticed unlike when you gain muscle or lose weight. You can see the muscle that was gained or the weight that was dropped. To help become the best version of yourself just continuously enhance yourself in whatever way that you can.
This can be through that information that you gain, recognizing how to better handle your emotions which is going to help you better handle yourself that leads to better decision making, incorporating helpful habits. Whether it’s exercising, eating healthier or taking time to reflect in peace. It's about building and strengthening from the inside out instead of from the outside in.
Consistently finding how to be better
Once you make personal development a priority and follow through on it, success will be correlated to it. The more effectively you do this, the better you become and the more success you will experience. This means that you're going to learn from your past blunders so you can avoid repeating them and you're going to learn from the mistakes and the successes from other people that are only going to enhance you.
If you think about the more information that you have, it means the more options are at your disposal but only if you can recognize and apply it in a practical manner. A common detractor that prevents people from going after a big ambitious goal is they don't know how and that prevents them from possibly even trying. The unknown can keep people comfortable in what they know.
The simple solution to a roadblock like this is to find out how and that's through actively gaining the information you need so you can attain that goal. A big part of developing on a personal level is having that accountability to yourself where you're the one that takes the initiative to get things done. You need to develop that work ethic to fight through the tendencies to want to give up when you hit a wall or you're struggling to overcome what you’re facing.
Having this type of outlook makes you more process focused so you do the everyday things that are needed that adds up overtime. Bruce Lee says “long term consistency trump 's short term intensity” meaning that no matter how small the effort that you give as long as you consistently do it it's going to add up to massive results overtime as opposed to working with a high level of enthusiasm that eventually wears off. Motivation can be a great thing for a period of time but eventually that wears off.
What's going to be the difference in how you operate and what drives you is understanding the purpose for why you do anything. We're all motivated by different things at different times in our lives. When you were six years old you were probably motivated by ice cream and toys and watching cartoons. But then as you get older you become motivated by having a new car, buying a house, or buying the latest gadgets. These external things that we chase all change.
In a case like this success is what we're motivated by because it is the destination that we're trying to get to. But the driver of why you do anything is really to become better. To be better today than you were yesterday to be better tomorrow than you are right now. And when you experience that it really is a fulfilling experience because it's realizing that you are becoming so much more.
The successes that we attain are generally short lived but what really makes a long-lasting impact is seeing the growth that we've made. Realizing those struggles that we were facing and then knowing that they were overcome it just further invigorates us that continuously elevates us to new heights and success will follow.
Eventually success is not even a priority but it’s about growth. If you ever experience success with very little resistance, it can feel a bit like a letdown, but when you experience success when it was long and difficult there's a tendency to savor and enjoy so much more.
Grow your confidence
The first thing that's needed in being able to develop yourself personally is confidence. Confidence in yourself and who you are. This is going to help self-asses to understand your strengths and your weaknesses in an objective way. Where you can have those honest conversations to know the areas that are lacking. And if we remember confidence is a skill that can be developed it's not like either you have it or you don't. We all have some level of confidence within ourselves, some might be more than others, but it can be grown and strengthened.
Confidence tends to come from that area of strength so first look to the strengths that you do have. Identify what they are and how you can use them to your advantage. Maybe it's being able to communicate with people effectively, being able to understand where they're coming from, and this can help you form strong relationships that makes you're stronger together.
Or maybe it’s being organized, and you can use this to be more productive.
Whatever your strength is just make sure to lean on it and your confidence is going to grow. From there you can then focus on those areas that you're weak in and it might be helpful to write it down so you get more of an objective point of view, so you become a bit detached emotionally from it.
This can help take away that stingy feeling where we say oh that hurts to know and instead can figure out how to manage and improve on them. This makes those areas less sensitive and can better deal with them when it comes about. So if one of my weak areas is staying on task then I can find ways to minimize distractions to be more effective or I can set a timer of 30 minutes to dedicate to one singular thing. This helps to focus on what can be done instead of what can’t be done.
Understand yourself and find the right people
A big part of developing yourself personally is breaking free from the pack, from needing to be like others and doing your own thing. It's about doing what's right for you and not needing to have somebody approve of it, whether it's your friends or your parents or your peers in general. It's about having enough confidence in yourself to stand alone if need be. Sometimes the friends or the people that you associate with are not always going to help you get to where you want to be.
Jim Rohn says, “you are the average of the five people that you most associate with”. Come to evaluate the people that you spend most of your time with and really figure out if they're bettering you or they're not. The people that you spend the most time with is what you tend to become because their ideas and behaviors will influence you. It would be in your best interest to move away from those people that are negatively influencing or holding you back.
When you do decide to make this choice, it's going to be uncomfortable because there's going to be a level of familiarity that is no longer there. Just come to embrace that things that are unfamiliar are not a bad thing. It can be an avenue to a great destination and that comes from making the choice of not staying put where you are.
If need be, take that time to be alone and work on yourself. There's nothing wrong with spending time with yourself and in fact you're going to better understand who you are and what drives you. Let go of needing to feel attached continuously to other people and find what works for you.
Once you've given yourself enough time to be alone and better understand yourself, surround yourself with the right people. The people that uplift you and empower you to be better and do better. It's not that you're not good enough right now but it's just about finding the ways that enhance you. Their ideas and energy are going to rub off onto you that's going to influence you to grow.
What we see around us we tend to emulate so over time you're going to adopt many of the behaviors of the company that you keep. Make sure to find the right fit, the people that are looking to develop themselves on a personal level as opposed to just trying to be successful. They'll emphasize the process as opposed to just being solely results oriented. To be able to provide an environment to learn and be about the journey as opposed to just showing off their accolades.
Read and have goals
One of the most crucial ways to develop yourself is just actively reading. Reading is where you get that information to help you think critically and analyze what you've processed. It stimulates you to come up with ideas and think through how it can be done. It is a magical process that instills a greater belief that things are possible.
If you look at many highly successful people such as Bill Gates the founder of Microsoft, Mark Zuckerberg the founder of Facebook, now known as Meta or Elon Musk founder of Tesla and SpaceX they all read continuously, it’s a daily habit. In a study of 1,200 wealthy people the thing that they all had in common was that they read, and they were highly selective in what they read, looking for it to be educational over being entertaining. They tend to read biographies of other successful people looking for guidance and inspiration.
If you look at Warren Buffett, he dedicates about 80% of his day to reading alone shooting for about 500 pages a day. He's continuously reading over financial statements and balance sheets of companies to evaluate if it's a great investment. He said that is the key to his success and builds up like compound interest. The overall benefits of reading is it helps to prevent stress and depression, improves confidence, empathy, decision-making, and feeling better about life in general. It is a great way to gain perspective and further explore other people’s thinking to enhance yours.
Another helpful thing that is going to improve you personally is to set goals for yourself and make sure that they're process oriented. A very generic term or statement to say is I want to be successful. What is it that is going to make you successful or not. Success is a loose term that you're going to have to define for yourself. So instead of just saying I want to gain more knowledge, state I want to read an autobiography once a month for 18 months. This helps to identify the goal and how you're going to reach it. It keeps you on track to attain what you set for yourself.
Or the goal could be to fast once a week for 24 hours to help build a stronger mindset and incorporate some of the health benefits that comes with fasting. Both types of goals are focused on a personal level, and they have actionable items on a weekly or monthly basis to make sure you're on target to reach it. Simply having a weekly plan and a commitment to it increases your chance of reaching your goals by 76%. Eventually what happens because of these goals that are set is that they eventually become habits.
The goal itself is that they become habits and if we remember you form your habits, and your habits form you. You want to build those teammates all around you to uplift you when you're not at your best and that's what your habits serve as your teammates. If you're not used to reading every day it can become kind of a chore to get in the mode of doing it, but with enough consistent action towards it, it eventually gets to the point where it just becomes automatic. Think about how we brush our teeth, we're not actively thinking that we're brushing maybe you use an electric toothbrush but either way you probably have a habit of doing it for a certain period of time.
Develop the right mindset
Having the right mindset is where it all starts because it determines where you're going. Your mindset is where your thoughts and your focus are. When it's on the right things such as the things within your control you better position yourself for growth and success. It really is the difference between whether you think you can or you can't, either way you're right.
If you believe that you can do it, you're going to find a way to get it done, it might take several times trying to figure things out where you fall short but with enough commitment and effort to it, you're going to be able to get it done. But if you think you can’t then you're always going to be looking for the easy way out, for an excuse on why things are not working or what's to blame. This gets you in the mindset of always willing to jump ship because you're reacting and panicking at the slightest bit of uneasiness.
When you can have the mindset of getting better that who you are right now is not who you're always going to be, that you can develop yourself into much more then you will for sure and success will follow. Because it's not a matter of if you're going to get there it's just a matter of when. That the belief within yourself and in the process is what's going to be the difference in ascending. This allows you to get past the moment where you're never a victim of it, where when things are good or bad they don't interfere with the big picture of where you're trying to get to.
Those good or bad moments that you find yourself in are not final states, they’re always fluid and knowing this helps to better manage your emotions. So when you find yourself angry, you understand that it serves a purpose to get you to do something about it but knowing that it will pass. I can get angry for burning the chicken in the oven and that’s to help me realize that the anger is there to get me to pay attention the next time I cook it. The anger motivates me to take action so the chicken comes out well and I could set a timer to ensure it does. The moment I experienced is not how I am experiencing life all the time unless I choose that.
Final thoughts
Come to embrace building yourself up internally. You might not see the transformation that is going on, but you will definitely feel it. It is a rewarding experience that is a lot more sustainable than success on the outside. Valuing this makes you more confident and independent of what is outside of your control. Where you feel at peace and in control of yourself.
Developing yourself personally signals a sign of ambition and tremendous self-awareness that will serve you well going forward. It is not something that should be shied away from but an enlightening journey that enhances us. For you to achieve what you want it all starts from the inside and this ensures that you live fulfilled. Success is not the end all be all to what makes life worthwhile, but it is progress made in the different chapters of our lives. What motivates us will always change but the need for growth will always be a constant.
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