Within social groups such as work, school or personal, hierarchy affects how we feel, how view ourselves and others. It literally is comparing to see where we fit in. To see how each of us measure up against each other vying for a higher status in whatever organization. The natural inclination is to want to be higher in the totem pole that is being associated with because it comes with certain perceived benefits such as respect and admiration from those around us. We all have a need to be respected, some more than others but this reinforces confidence that makes a person feel significant or validated.
Being dependent on drawing power from hierarchy status puts greater emphasis on what others think, living up to a certain metric and if that metric is not consistently met the risk is being demoted or thought less of, losing respect. Remember it is human nature that the fall and failures that we experience hurt much more than the pleasure gained from achievements. This is part of the social relationships we have with each other; we want to be perceived well and accepted by our peers. The better our peers see us the better we feel about ourselves. And vice versa, the worse our peers see us the worse we tend to feel.
Usually, the higher up in status the more power one has that affects everyone else. This is the ability to lead effectively, the health and welfare is dependent on those leaders making important decisions. It is not solely based on brute force but must be accompanied by making good choices for the overall wellbeing of the organization. Now brute force can ascend an individual higher but that alone is not sustainable. Horses have rankings within their herd and the highest ranking one, usually the female will lead the others to food and water and keep them away from danger when they suspect any type of threat.
Fitting in
We’ll do things to earn others’ respect and sometimes that means making good choices but other times it means making poor ones. The younger and inexperienced we are with very little support there might be more of an inclination to making poor choices just to fit in. To do what others want of us. Overall, it comes down to how others value us.
In western society, a large determining factor is someone’s social economic status, the more money that someone has the higher they are thought of and better they are treated. This can drive us and motivate us to do certain things like build a massive business or climb the company ladder with the goal of making a lot of money. With that comes admiration from others. It is very enticing to be admired by others but even better by the right people that value us for who we are and not just what we have or what was accomplished.
The right people will be with us in the good and the bad. The bad times are great because it eventually weeds out those that are serving their own interests. It’s an opportunity to reset to the fundamentals. The tricky part will be managing the good times because it can be intoxicating, constantly fixated on being anointed, when nobody is there to call out the train that is about to cause a crash.
Eventually this leads to a constant comparison to see who's the best instead of being your best. Your best is good enough when you value yourself well. There constantly seems to be the talk about who's the best because the best signifies that it is better than the rest. Whether we’re talking about sports teams, athletes, school, universities, students, cars, shoes. The best is all relative to a person’s perspective. People have different criteria and there seems to be the notion that there everybody needs to agree or at least the majority.
If you ask someone what the best barbecue is, that is so limiting and excluding the different possibilities. It kind of belittles every other barbecue place. For some dry barbecue is what is preferred, but instead what is said is it is the best. For others, they may say chopped barbecue lathered in barbecue sauce is best.
This cultivates the thinking that puts others down to highlight their significance. If anybody disagrees then enemies are formed, and this leads to being intolerant of having different opinions and ways of thinking. In the subject matter such as BBQ this is almost like fighting words, it's dividing lines to see where you stand. In a world where we’re being assessed by others, determining what value we bring individually it brings about if you’re not the best you’re just like the rest.
Hierarchy affects our significance
Hierarchy plays a big role in feeling significant. It's almost like that's how we eventually come to view who we are. That our worth is tied to the ranking amongst our peers or the amount of money that we have or that the amount of responsibility determines our importance. This is dependent on an outside source that props us up and instead it should be about building ourselves up internally, where self-confidence is what is relied upon. Hierarchy makes us dependent on how we feel about ourselves. Self-care and improvement make us independent and empowered. Develop the internals and everything else will seem less bothersome.
Essentially hierarchy contributes to the amount of confidence we have about ourselves. The higher in ranking in whatever organization that you're in the greater belief you're going to have within yourself. There is a greater chance of experiencing positive emotions that leads to giving your best effort. The praise that is given or the rewards received in being in a higher position reinforces the good things about you.
But the lower you are within that ranking the less belief you have that you can do great things. It’s more likely to experience negative emotions and leads to giving less than your best effort. The orders given or being reprimanded for mistakes reinforces the bad things or weakness where it feels suffocating. It’s a state of being, where what you are experiencing is what you will continue to experience. So if you’re higher up you’ll continue to feel good but the further down you’ll continue to feel down.
It is a hit or miss cycle that one is in which can make it feel like it's difficult to get out of it because much of this comes in from our mental framework. So if we think lower of ourselves then we'll feel that way and all that's reinforced by looking up at everybody else. But if you think higher of yourself then you'll also feel higher as others are going to be looking up towards you looking for guidance and direction or at least giving instructions on what to do. If we think back to much of how we survived and how animals survived, hierarchy is a tool to continue to live but not really thrive. We do not experience the same threat levels as before where our lives are in danger, but we still operate that way.
Restructuring hierarchy
More progressive, innovative companies are moving away from hierarchal structures because they see that it damages morale that is going to affect people giving their best on a consistent basis. Great talent will leave if they’re not given the freedom to use their strengths as they see fit. They are willing and confident that they can move on from dead ends. To look past right now and set themselves up for greater opportunities.
It's been known for some time that middle managers are there mainly just to reinforce that the people that they oversee are doing what they're supposed to do. Many proactive company leaders realize that with more autonomy given to their employees they feel empowered and that has produced better results than previously of commanding orders. There's a bit of a rebellion that comes out in each of us when we feel that we have somebody to report to, that they're superior to us, that we must be checked in on like a toddler. It's almost belittling in a way.
If that's the thinking, then we're going back to just survival of the fittest. Is that what we want just to survive? To do what was done in the past because it once worked yet it is becoming outdated. Habits are hard to kick but less so when willing to admit that there is a better way of doing things. Sometimes that means realizing when something is wrong. But if it is about proving how right one is even when they are not, it is all about control, constantly needing it.
A title is merely a title
Come to understand that a title or position within an organization is just that, it that does not tell your whole story of what you're capable of. Don't think because you start at the bottom that that's all you're ever going to be. There are some really great examples if you look at Rodney McMullen, the CEO of Kroger, which is the second largest grocer in the US, he started off as a stock boy for Kroger in 1978 and paid his way through college working there taking on every job in the store, from dairy to deli.
Eventually he worked his way to accounting supervisor, then to a financial analyst, became CFO and then took on the CEO role. Rodney did not allow the title of stockboy to limit him to what he could be. The easy thing to do is give in and say this is all I'm ever going to be is a stock boy, but his ambition drove him to believe in himself that he can work his way into things. He wasn't afforded special opportunities, but he made it happen to himself.
He's a great example that a title is merely a title, and it doesn't determine what you're ultimately capable of. Many times, most of us don't know what we're capable of until we actually try it. We might have an idea but as you start to take on greater challenges you’re going to be pleasantly surprised about your achievements and have greater self-respect.
But this comes from breaking away from what others see you as, what a group labels you. Avoid living up to their expectations and instead form your own and live up to them. Others may have very low expectations of you and if you abide by them you won't stretch past it. But when you have high expectations, and you continuously reach for them eventually you're going to grow into it.
Final thoughts
You're in a great place mentally when you're independent of that where you know that what you think of yourself is way more important than what others do. That the perceived wall of hierarchy is merely a way to function, and it is not the only way. This makes life in general seem less intimidating because you know you can stand up to it, willing to do what is uncomfortable right now so you can spread your wings to eventually soar. Having this outlook is natural for some while others it will require constant work but either way it needs to be developed. Some will have a support system that nurtures these behaviors, and some won’t.
Hierarchy can make it feel like we are not enough with the wrong perspective, it can have this overhang of being controlled and what people need is a certain level of autonomy to give their best. Structure is good to have because it can help to develop discipline and helps to stay on track of the things that need to get done but so much rigidness can just cause much of the enjoyment to be taken out. Understand where you rank or what title you have does not define who you are or your significance, that falls squarely on you. What you think is what is important.
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