We all have fears that affect us differently on how we handle ourselves and choosing to face them. Even animals have fears. These fears serve as a warning signal of the dangers that are present to what is considered valuable to whoever is experiencing it. Threats to things that are viewed as valuable such as life, health or wealth can trigger the brain into reacting immediately. It wants you to preserve and protect what you have and this might be expressed in form of the fight or flight response. For some, they can naturally face their fears as they see it as an opportunity to overcome a challenge that they're facing. The ability to get better at something that brings them excitement from the rush that they experience.
This could be a mother protecting her young from which she might deem as a threat or if you see somebody breaking into your car the reaction of confronting them in being ready to defend what is yours. This typically is the fight response. But for others it can be difficult to face their fears as the threat that they're experiencing can be too much for them to handle. It can cause panic and the urge to flee or it can cause paralysis where it freezes you from doing anything. Just know when this happens you shouldn't feel bad about yourself that this is just your natural reaction. It doesn't make you any less brave or more cowardly because of it.
You can work to overcome your fears when you're ready to do so. It just takes some time to condition your mind to override the urge to react in that type of manner. It's understandable to want to avoid danger because even the fight response can have negative impact on your well-being or the things that you hold valuable.
The things you fear can come from the experiences that you had that did not go well or they can be naturally ingrained in you. If we remember the negative things that we all experience provide a much stronger sensation to remind us of the things that caused us pain so we can be more aware and possibly avoid them when they come about. It is just the brain doing its job of trying to keep you safe and would rather remind you experiencing that sharp emotional pain of fear then to actually have to experience the hurt that it might cause you. But many fears can also be learned from the people that surround us displaying certain reactions to certain things.
Understand your fears
To begin to overcome your fears first you got to understand what they are and why they occur. When you know what you're up against you can come up with your own strategic plan on how to go about it. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and we shouldn't be ashamed of where we're lacking or coming up short. Don't try to lie and suppress the things that you might be fearful of because when you do you leave yourself exposed to not handle it well when it does arise. This can shake your confidence quite a bit to the point where you might be questioning other things that you do well.
When you're able to admit your fears you become stronger in the things that makes you uncomfortable. Generally, we all have a tendency when things get uncomfortable that we stop doing whatever it is that is bringing us that discomfort. This is why it can be hard to push past our limits. There's actually many fears that go beyond the more obvious ones such as fear of rejection, fear of failure. The fear of rejection and fear of failure is a pretty straightforward one because it has the ability to damage the confidence within ourselves, but success can be something you might fear because of all the things that comes with it. Maybe it means more responsibility, more work, more pressure. Or it could be the fear of commitment, knowing that others are depending on you and you're not free to do whatever it is you want. It might feel like you're being restricted.
When you come to understand your fears, it can help you gain some distance to see it from a different perspective. Many times in the heat of battle you're doing whatever it takes to survive and get by that sometimes you're not able to see another way to handle your fears. With more distance you give yourself you can start to see the bigger picture then just the moment you're in. Ask yourself how fear is going to affect your overall life. If you give in to fear, will it improve the quality of what you're going through, or will it limit what you can do in your life. Would the drawbacks of facing your fears be greater than the reward you can get if you overcame them? Answering these types of questions can reframe your thinking to better understanding your fears.
For some it can be seen as a starting point or a stopping point. Will you stop whatever it is you're doing when fear strikes you or is that your starting point for something much greater. Sometimes you have to go through some pain to reap the rewards on the other side of it. What you gain from these opportunities is greater confidence, resiliency and grit that’s going to serve you well going forward. The more you can face your fears the more you dictate how well you live your life.
Countering you fears mentally
Once you can recognize what you fear you can start to find ways to ease those fears where mentally it becomes less strong the sensation. One of those ways to take away the sharpness that you feel is to have a solution for the scenario of what you fear. If you have a fear of failure because it makes you think that you're not good enough, have a solution for when failure does occur. Maybe the solution is to find out what you did wrong, where you came up short, how you can do better next time and the things you did well. By identifying the things that could be improved on, that negativity that you would typically experience you use it as a learning tool and recognizing the things you did well maintains and builds your confidence so you can try whatever it is again.
So if you have a business idea that you think is good but the fear of failure is preventing you from starting you can condition yourself to know that failure is inevitable and is actually a great teacher on how to get better so you begin to associate failure with lessons that you can take with you going forward to build a better business, to build yourself up. This can help ease the fear that you have and better comprehend the lessons that you gained. Once you can start conditioning your mind to work for you, you can really start to leverage the strengthens that you have instead of being restricted by the self-doubt that creeps in from the survival mode that our brain keeps us in.
This is going to keep you in the mental state of possibilities instead of limits. What you focus on is what you continuously work towards that eventually gets you there. Constantly being focused on the possibilities you will continuously be making progress because you will searching for it. If you actually think about the negative things that you might tell yourself such as this can't be done, I can't do this, you're only going to search for that information to validate it.
You might as well be focused on all the possibilities because what good does it do you to put restrictions on yourself, you might save yourself from disappointment for a little while but what does that get you, a little bit of comfort for a short period of time. When you remain in comfort you remain the same but when you pursue things outside of that comfort you start to grow and unlock your potential. Sometimes getting out of your comfort zone can also be fearful but the more you're able to do it the less fearful it becomes, the more acclimated you become to being in this state. Continuously focus on what's possible, speak about what's possible and eventually your actions follow as you create what you envision overcoming the fear that you might experience along the way.
Taking down the beast
Think of facing your fears as a beast that you have to battle who's just ferocious and ready to pounce when you slip up, but you have to match that intensity and more. You almost have to go in there screaming, kicking down doors in a controlled way because you can't be timid and walking on eggshells if you expect to beat them. You got to be tenacious and willing to punch that beast over and over in the face until he can't handle no more because he's not going to wait around to see if you're ready. The hesitation needs to be expelled; it serves you no good as you're in the thick of it.
When you face your fears you got to be on the offensive, hit that beast first before he hits you. It's OK to be nervous but channel that energy to get you in that tenacious mode. Eventually the moment will be over and sometimes what hurts us most is our ego more than anything else. You just got to tell yourself the pain that I might experience is only going to be temporary but the memories I have on how I handle myself will be long lasting.
Will you be more satisfied avoiding your fears or confronting them. Pain is a bridge that gives you access to strength. That bruise or broken bone that you feel has the ability to recover, yet sometimes what is so fragile can be the mind if you're not actively finding ways to challenge it. There are certain experiences that are painfully strong mentally and naturally you're going to want to avoid it but give yourself the time to process it so you can become more comfortable with it and chip away at the uneasy feeling that keeps you from avoiding it.
If you fail no problem, you'll find a way to respond, if you embarrass yourself so what, what people think of you will not dictate your actions. The less of a big deal you make it the more manageable it becomes. Take away its power by rising up to the challenge. Many times our heads make things bigger than what they actually are. If you ever found yourself surprised on how well you did something it’s because you might have thought that was not something that you could have done. It just takes action to get going, to not overthink things and let it rip. So the first step is mentally preparing yourself of what you can do.
Visualize yourself facing your fears. Actually create the scenario in your mind where you are walking through all the details of what you expect to see and feel. The more detailed it is and having a predetermined response makes it more clear of what you expect from the situation and how you will handle yourself. The more mental reps you get of going over it will strengthen the muscle memory of how you envision it playing. It brings a level of familiarity that gives you a calm and confident sense of what you will accomplish.
Use fear to your advantage
You can actually use fears to your advantage, it can act as a motivator if you can properly harness it so it can work for you. What fear does is it raises your alertness to the things that you deem a threat. You can harness that energy through your focus. Think about when you take on something that is very uninteresting or boring, there is a tendency to maybe not put as much effort into it, maybe not take it as seriously and this might yield you sub-par results. But when that fear is evoked in you it gets your senses heightened so you become aware of the dangers. When this starts to happen tell yourself this is the time to properly focus so I can divert all of my energy into what I'm about to do.
In a very heightened state you are more prone to do things the right way and will put all your effort in it. This makes you pay attention to all the little details that makes the difference in producing superior results. It's amazing what you can get done when you have this burst of urgency that is very similar to the feeling of fear. Fear can cause you to be urgent, urgent to flee or urgent to fight. It might help to associate fear with urgency, something that needs to get done, not to be in a rush but act swiftly and precisely. This really is just a matter of channeling that excess energy that you've just produced into a strategic plan of action. You still will probably experience increased heart rate and heavy breathing but you're transforming how you view what you're experiencing to better you. Just use that as a reminder to tell yourself time to focus and dial in.
Final thoughts
In whatever you choose to do in your life fear will be present but you got to find a way to overcome it and not let it dictate how you live because when it does you become constrained. This is going to be the difference from just having dreams to actually pursuing them and making them a reality. What stops many people from actually living how they truly want of is all the things that can go wrong so right from the start their focus is limited to it actually not working out.
But you can break free from this type of thinking by simply choosing to face your fears and eventually overcoming them. Just know as you go about it you will take some cracks along the way and it will be painful and in these times gather yourself and regroup but don't let it sway you from what you actually want to get done. In these moments you got to dig deep down within yourself and find a way to push forward even in the mist of feeling shaken. Understanding fear is part of the process will help you better handle those big ambitious things you want to pursue.
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