Do you ever stop to wonder and think about the decisions you make and why you make them. Wondering if you made the right decision or if it could have been better. Whether it's the decisions you make in your everyday life or big impactful decisions that you make a few times a year, they all add up to affect your life. Some of them will slowly be noticed over long periods of time such as the foods you eat, how active you are, that will impact your health. Some others will have immediate impact such as looking directly at the sun that can damage your vision or placing a big bet that can lose you or make a lot of money. Learning from your decisions will help you make better ones.
Generally, the decisions that have those immediate impacts tend to grab our attention a lot more because we're going to notice the results very quickly. Many of our decisions come down to an art form where we form opinions and act through processing that is influenced by our perspectives, emotions, reasons, and memories. The ability to understand the benefits and cost that comes with each choice helps us realize the potential outcomes that gives us confidence in what we choose. The things the impact the quality of our decisions are information, deadlines, and emotional and physical resources.
Some decisions can be made relatively quickly because we have been through them before such as having waffles for breakfast because it tastes good, and it provides the energy needed to operate throughout the day. Other decisions might be to relocate to another part of the country to give yourself different or more opportunities. But this requires so much information to evaluate, when to have the decision made and if you are emotionally stable to make that decision. Naturally a decision like this would require so much more time and thought to help you be confident in making your choice.
While we may not know all the information needed to make good decisions, we do so based on what we have. To a degree we are taking a chance on the actions that we do take because there are so many unknowns that could happen even in our daily routines. Something unexpected might happen such as you sprain your ankle on your way to work were you tripped on a rock, and a common reaction might be to think, what if I paid more attention to what was on the ground to prevent that from happening. But it is likely that you didn't pay as much attention to it before so why should you start now because you would get the same results of being able to walk to the office without any problem of tripping over something.
Just because it happened in the past does not mean that is the predictor of the future. But the past gives us a level of familiarity of what could happen again. Whatever it is we choose to decide there's always going to be a level of uncertainty. Those situations that we are familiar with, the decisions that are made tend to be fast and automatic but those decisions that involve something you've never seen before or have very little experience in dealing with will take more time to work through all the things that could go well and could go wrong.
Making good decisions
What many of us are ultimately trying to do is make good decisions that improve the quality of our lives, and this starts with making informed decisions. Making informed decisions comes down to thinking critically without common mistakes and biases that we might have. It moves beyond just the follow my gut to make the right decision by knowing what information you are lacking and how to gain it.
Simply just relying on your gut to make good decisions is based on the experiences you've been through, so it means having a familiarity with something to feel confident in the choices you make. But in the cases where the situation is unfamiliar, that is where the information that you gain can help you. Keeping an open mind when taking in that new information is going to help you move past some of your biases.
Say you were a great athlete growing up and you succeeded at all the sports that you played in and now you want to venture off into becoming a head coach for a little league football team. Your experience can help you become a head coach but you're going to need so much more to succeed in that new role that you decide to take on. It's going to be about recognizing that you've never coached a large group of players that are all motivated in different ways and all of them will respond to different tactics.
One thing is evident from one generation to another how that younger generations responds to the older generation will change. That old school method of yelling at players and being very demanding of them may not work as well, and in fact it might be really off putting and ineffective that demotivates them.
In a case like this what would be effective is talking to the parents of the players to see how they best respond, by figuring out their needs and wants for wanting to be there. It could be asking other coaches as well for advice on how to conduct practices, how to manage the team during rough periods, how to handle losing, and just how to make it fun for everyone. It can be easy to fall back on what worked for you as an athlete because your abilities are different from those that you might be coaching.
Nick Saban the head football coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide who's won six national championships under his tutelage has been coaching since 1988 and he's talked about how this new generation of players respond differently to when he first started. He said before he could yell at his players and tell them to do something, and they would do it but he says today's athlete responds much more effectively when you explain to them why they should do something and keeps his yelling to a minimum.
He's changed his approach to keep up with the times and that is what has made him successful all these years. Being able to be relevant with today's players and the ability to adapt and change has been key and references that's why the dinosaurs no longer exist because they could not change. While he's a very well-established highly regarded coach he will still ask for help to give his team an edge by bringing in different people that can relate to the players.
Systematic decision making
Once you inform yourself with the information you need you can combine that with your own experiences, rational thinking and giving yourself time to process to make good decisions. What many of us want to know is are we making the right decision. In a short answer there can be multiple right decisions, it's not so much right or wrong but to a degree of what you were aiming for and how close you were to that. When we have so many options it can be overwhelming with all the information that needs to get processed that it can cause decision paralysis where are you are not as satisfied with your decisions because you think about all the other possible alternatives that you could have taken.
Your mind could start to wander thinking about all the ways things could have played out. If you took another route things could have been better, but this just causes you to become lost in rumination of what could have been or what should have been that takes your focus away from what you can do now about the route that you did decide to take. If this happens find a way to simplify your decisions and avoid ruminating on all the alternatives that you did not take.
Look to the Navy seals as a reference for how they make decisions. They use a three-step method of first gathering input, second putting a deadline on when a decision needs to be made, and 3rd course correcting when needed. When they gather input, they first seek out people who do not think like them to help give them a different perspective of where their blind spots might be. Too many times we tend to seek out like-minded input, but this just gives you similar ideas of what you're thinking. By having different ideas, it gives the Navy seals so many different options and then they can decide what is the best course to take.
Putting a deadline is also crucial to their method because if not, waiting too long causes value to be lost. The more time being put off on a decision the less important that decision becomes or at least appears. This can be something related to your health, the longer you take to decide on your health the more costly it can prove later down the line such as waiting too long to quit smoking or waiting too long to improve your diet by reducing the amount of sugar you consume.
Then recognizing when you need to pivot, if necessary, will also be crucial. There are times where each one of us makes a bad decision, but we always have the ability to reverse course if needed and this requires a certain level of humility and intellect to help you make the right decision. When you can do this, it shows that you are comfortable and who you are and not needing to appear right in the face of a bad decision. This helps you to be more adaptable as new information comes to light that will help you better navigate the situation you are in.
Having a method to your decision making can help you better make them and be more confident in the action you do decide. If left unexplored of how you make your decisions, much of it will be based on your experiences, emotions and how you're feeling at that one time that will lead to what you've always known.
Know what outcome you want
Another thing you may want to consider is to identify what outcome you want when considering all the options you have. This helps you to clearly identify what you’re ultimately trying to achieve. Without knowing what it is you want, there's a tendency to make the safest decision, but that may not be what is the best decision for you. That it keeps you in what is comforting but what is comforting is not going to benefit you over the long term.
Sometimes we get lost in seeing the individual trees that we miss out on seeing the forest, that the details of certain aspects are what occupy so much of our attention that keeps us fixated on it and makes it hard to move past it to see other aspects to reach a conclusion. When you understand what your end goal is you can formulate ways on how to get there. That each part of the decision that you're analyzing you ask yourself, is this going to get me to the outcome I want or is it not. From there you can determine if you're willing to take on the risk.
You might be in a scenario where your ambition is driving you for something so much more, that it's telling you, you must make your dream happen. Where you might get hung up on is all the negative unknowns that could happen and that's logical to have those thoughts and you can use it to your advantage by identifying potential challenges on your path so you can be better prepared for when they arise.
If you can work through it mentally of how you would go about to resolve the challenges, you're acclimating yourself to it being not such a big hurdle to overcome. With more decisions you make that align with the outcome you want you're building momentum towards making it happen. The more decisions that you make towards it, the more you work through those unknowns that gives you confidence going forward that it can be done.
Causes of bad decisions
Because we're striving to make good decisions it's going to be important to know how to reduce making bad ones. Understand that we're going to make bad decisions, but the key will be to not make too many bad decisions that have a ripple effect in our lives. The things that lead to poor decision making are not gathering enough information or gathering too much information that bogs you down from deciding on anything. Not having enough information can cause a mistake that could have been avoided like having guests over for dinner who has a peanut allergy when you fried chicken in peanut oil or waiting to gain more business experience before starting your own business. To help overcome this, aim to have just the right amount of information that gives you the confidence to decide and understand the ramifications that come with it.
Another thing is mistaking opinions for facts such as taking advice from a friend on how to manage your finances simply because they come off convincing which can proof very costly. While you may trust them it's going to be very important to distinguish the things that they say as their opinion from fact. We do tend to gravitate to those with a high amount of energy or conviction because it shows a greater sense of confidence, but in a case like this when it comes to facts it should be purely objective so you can rationalize your way through it instead of feeling your way through it.
Emotions will grab you to run and make a decision when you feel connected to it, while sometimes this can work well, there are other times it can prove unwise. When this happens instead of deciding right away, sleep on it to get yourself back to a level state of thinking. This helps you to see things objectively to find the flaws that are masked from feeling emotional connected to a convincing opinion.
Decision fatigue is also another factor that can influence you into making a bad decision. We all have about 35,000 decisions that we make daily on things that range from what am I going to wear this morning, to how long am I going to brush my teeth, to what time am I going to leave the house. The more decisions we make, the more in quality it drops and after about 800 decisions it starts to become more difficult to make that same level of quality decisions where there is a tendency to take shortcuts and go with the easiest option.
After a long hard day of work, you'll tend to be in a more vulnerable and irritated state and making decisions will be reflected when you do so in this manner. Most mistakes that happen in the workplace occur at the end of the day when people's focus is not as strong as it was at the beginning of the day. In a state like this there's a tendency to be more emotional and reactive that makes you more defensive, ready to ward off anything that bothers you in the slightest.
If you look at car crashes, the peak time of the day for them occurring is between 4pm-8pm, with the most lethal time being from 5pm-6pm. During this time there are more drivers on the road trying to get home and the amount of decisions they have already made leaves them tired and are more prone to reacting slower to all the information going on around them. In cases like this, try to minimize decisions at the end of the day for simple ones that do not have such a big impact on things.
Also not learning from your past mistakes can also lead to repeating them. When you're not able to reflect on the bad decisions that you've made, you'll be less aware of how to avoid them because you'll continuously fall into that same routine that you've always done before. When things are familiar to us, the decision making tends to be fast and automatic so when you cannot recognize the error in judgment you made previously, you'll keep falling back into the same thing. It might be uncomfortable, embarrassing, or painful to recognize your past mistakes but it's part of the process to help you make better choices.
If you become oblivious to them, then overtime the results will show up. Being able to honestly assess the choices you've made is going to help you improve upon them going forward. Once you can start to take responsibility for what is within your control, you take things more objectively. Our past is there to remind us of what is important so we can make a better tomorrow. While it may be painful to process those thoughts, being willing to work through will give you a chance to break from the things holding you back.
Sometimes what makes a bad decision is indecision because it makes you less confident in your abilities to assess the proper course of action. It could mean opportunities passing you by, especially that opportunity of growth for yourself. That things are left to chance, not betting on yourself to make things happen. When things are left to chance you get what is left over and usually that’s crumbs.
Ultimately what decisions represent is free will, that you have the ability to affect the outcome, especially when it is the outcome of your life. Indecision is making a choice because you are actually choosing to hesitate. It means waiting for things to happen. The more indecisiveness takes over, the less ability you feel to make life what you want for yourself. It becomes more about restriction than liberation, more about surviving and less about thriving.
Just remember you will make bad decisions, that’s just a part of what we all do, and you can choose to dwell on it and say what if I did this or should have done that or you can evaluate what went on and apply the lessons that you gain going forward. All those times that you tell yourself if I did this or if I did that use those principles going forward and tell yourself the next time I'm in this situation I will do this, I will do that. Aim to learn from the bad decisions you make, especially those big ones but if you make them, so what, your perseverance and resiliency will help you see it through.
The goal should not be to not make bad decisions but to ultimately make better and better decisions and sometimes that comes from learning from our mistakes. Reframe seeing mistakes on what went wrong, but what needs to be done better. A wiser move would be learning from bad decisions others have made. Sometimes what you'll find out over the long run is a decision is only seen as bad in the short term but sometimes that's what's needed to propel you forward over the long term. Use the mistakes of others to learn from as this is going to help you get comfortable in admitting your own.
Decisions mean accountability
With every decision you make you are holding yourself more and more accountable that weans you off from needing the herd to endorse you. This gives you the ability to self-regulate yourself to know when to correct that helps you draw further strength to be better. That you have the confidence to take on the consequences of the risk that you were willing to endure. This helps you break free of consistently play it safe, willing to take on the bumps along the way that can benefit you. That is why the term is called growing pains, pain is part of the process of growing. It is actively telling progress is underway.
Moments like this just further develops the composure and resiliency that deepens the belief within yourself. You’ll gain the perspective of taking a short-term loss for a long-term gain. But this also accustoms you to the volatility that can cause so many other people to waver during difficult times and being able to see it through will help you get to a prosperous tomorrow.
Without accountability you’ll constantly feel the need to have consistent support to build yourself up, almost like a crutch depending on something to hold you up. That what others think of you is more important than what you think of yourself. For you to make great decisions it’s accepting who you are and willing to admit to bad decisions, learning from them so you can make even better ones that improves how well you live.
Final thoughts
While one single decision may not make or break you, a series of combined decisions are a result of how your life plays out. The choices you made yesterday and today will eventually show up in your future, not sure when but they will. The lure of the results taking time to materialize can make us forget those decisions. If you are not happy with the choices you have made, you can always make better ones by aligning them with your values. Collectively what you decide carries significant weight that will tip the scale that makes the difference in how satisfied you are.
There is more than one right decision for you and wrong or bad ones are you are just doing it in other ways that have not yet worked out. In these times, take a step back and evaluate things because you can always course correct. Forgive yourself and let go of the things you hold onto that continue to obstruct the belief within yourself. You can always make the choice to be your better yourself starting now. Figure things out to work for you and that will involve bad outcomes at times but that is an opportunity to experience adversity to turn things around and appreciate the things in your life. Clear your eyes and live with a full heart, for you will be victorious in your journey.
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