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Developing Your Resiliency


hand strength
holding on when things are hard


Resiliency is going to be a key factor when you're pursuing your goals, especially if it's hard. The harder the goal is the more likely that you will experience setbacks and get knocked down. When this does happen, the natural inclination is to find something easier. Something that you can do with very little resistance. But consistently seeking out only doing the things that you're good at you put a limit on yourself.


                By staying in your circle of comfort you miss out on the greatness within you. It tends to work the same memory pathways and the same muscles that leaves everything the same. When changes do come, because it always will, it makes adapting to it very difficult. It makes it harder or at least less appealing to learn new things. Where frustration settles in very quickly that throws off your desire and focus to work through it.


                When you actively work on developing your resilience you can recover quickly from difficult times. It makes you more elastic to handle adversity. This will make you more adaptable and experience things with greater fluidity instead of resisting. The outcome is you unlock many wonderful things that you are capable of. But this comes through getting outside of your comfort zone.


Work up to the hard things

                When you first step outside of your comfort zone, start off small with things that feel like they are just out of reach. If your area of competence is keeping to yourself then work up to talking to others by first making eye contact with people you don’t know. A friendly smile can break the ice where you might receive a polite gesture back. You might not receive one but at least you try without being totally devastated taking a big leap.


                Doing things like this will expose you to the good and bad of trying something new in incremental steps. It builds tolerance to what is scary and teaches that it is okay to feel that way but facing it can make you stronger. The bad experiences are where your resilience will develop. That is the short-term pain for even longer longer-term gains.


                Experiencing the good and bad will build your confidence to then take things a bit further. From there maybe you say hi to people you don’t know and even might strike up a conversation with them. Working your way up to something more and more better prepares you to handle the rough times. Where you understand that certain bad experiences are just that, a certain experience and not all experiences. We all will experience the good, bad and the ugly.


Rest and recover

                In those difficult moments that you face, it’s important to know when to take a break to maintain your confidence. While you want to push forward getting back up when you get knocked down, experiencing a massive amount of it might push you over the breaking point. You want to be able to find the proper balance to handle the pressure and frustration of it. Not too little where it inflates your ego but not to much where it crushes your confidence.


                Give yourself enough time to experience adversity and just when you want to give up and do what is easiest, that is the time to rest and recover. This means taking a break from doing what is hard. Take the time to unwind and do something that builds you up, where it soothes things to get back at it. Your hobbies that help clear your mind or spending time with friends and family to enjoy their company.


                The length of time off will be crucial. Find the right amount where not too little time is given that gives way to more fatigue but not too much where you lose interest. A good indicator is when you’re resting and you become bored, that is a time to get back at it. Your mind should feel relaxed and ready to take on the next challenge.


Get back at it

Make sure you are geared up to take on what is difficult. Reminding yourself things will be hard but you have got to figure out a way to overcome it. It’s knowing that the process will make you better. It will hurt as you go through it, but the outcome will be worth it. This further conditions you to lean into it.


Think of some of the things that were once hard for you, yet you found it less difficult over time. Maybe working out was hard or reading for an hour a day, looking back to the process of how it felt. You will probably recall that is uncomfortable and then it was not big deal. Use your past experiences where you can draw strength from going forward.


So if your goal is to make 3 million dollars, work diligently and effectively to make it happen. It may involve, falling short but eventually with enough time and effort to figure it out you gain traction and build momentum. At the moment is when you should keep at it. Use that momentum because if not it can be lost and will feel stuck. Strike while the iron is hot, molding the iron to your desire.


Final thoughts

                You will experience adversity and the better your resilience is the better you will handle it. Focus on developing your resilience because that will be the difference in forging ahead in what you are pursuing. Work your way up to what is hard, understand when you need to take a break from it and then continuously work at it. The more you experience it, the stronger and more prepared you become.

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