There are so many things nowadays that can bring us instant gratification where it eases things that we might be going through, or it just enhances the state that we're in. Maybe it's boredom that we're dealing with or a little bit of discomfort. The urge to suppress it or fix can be very enticing because of the convenient and countless forms of entertainment to sooth what is being experienced.
This comes from our instinct to survive, the things that bring us pleasure such as water and food keeps us continuously satisfying our needs. We don’t think much about it because when we're thirsty we go ahead and grab something to drink and when we're hungry we get something to eat if that's something that's available to us. Now maybe you’re probably going to think about what am I going to drink or what am I going to eat.
Once our basic needs from a physical standpoint are met consistently then it becomes about what’s next, wanting more where it piques our interest. Gradually seeking something else. This trickles into other parts of our lives and because we're social creatures we will do things that are socially engaging or that brings us satisfaction in some way.
Social media provides a great way to engage socially without being rejected in a physical environment. It can connect to the things that are interesting and unique to you to find that place that you fit in where you belong to a community. We want to be with the herd because it provides a place of safety. To know that we are not alone. And based on your interest, there is a lot of content that is fed to you. Or it could be just seeking the things that you really enjoy. Watching entertaining shows or just indulging in your favorite foods.
Delaying gratification keeps your eyes on the prize
Once you can start to master delaying gratification for later, the potential gains are much greater. This can transform every part of your life knowing that certain urges or wants can be held off on. This is extremely helpful in those situations where you're trying to achieve a big goal because the instant gratification factor can be a hinderance to them. It takes away your focus from what you want to get done. By being able to harness delaying gratification you ensure you’re more successful at what you attempt to do.
If you look at many people like Nathan Handwerker who founded Nathan’s Famous Hotdogs or James Kraft who founded Kraft foods, these were people that endured the hardships early on to reach their goals. Nathan saved whatever money who could to buy a hotdog stand in Coney Island by sleeping where he worked bypassing renting. James Kraft spent 3 years failing over and over again finding the right method to store cheese and preserve it from spoiling it. The success that these people achieved involved probably being dissatisfied for a long period of time. But their resolve and belief in their vision allowed them to eventually reach their goals.
Maybe your goal is buy a house and this typically requires a commitment to being financially disciplined to afford a down payment for the house you desire and make all the necessary payments. It's about you being serious and getting the necessary work done to meet certain deadlines such as savings $400 a month for the next few years to have the buying power and saying no to the seduction of instant pleasure. This would include things like eating out less frequently or not eating out at all. Cutting the fat from the expenses you have such as eliminating unnecessary paid subscriptions, buying less expensive food items such as steaks and replacing it with ground beef or buying chicken.
The struggles of delaying gratification
While many of us know the importance and benefits of delaying gratification, it still is a big struggle to incorporate it daily because the things that we see right now, the things that we're doing right now preoccupy our attention that gives it greater importance. So while we know that a piece of broccoli is more beneficial to our health in the long term having that donut is still more enticing because it brings us that pleasure right now.
The broccoli is not going to reward you until later on or maybe it might not be felt at all because it's preventative care. It helps to maintain your health. You need to eliminate donuts from your diet but it's the concept of consistently eating more donuts than broccoli is going to negatively impact you in the longer term.
This is the concept of instant gratification; it's about managing it to a level where you don't need to be dictated by it. Obviously, you still got to enjoy those instant pleasures because it is part of your survival. So in the case of saving up to buy a house it's not to starve yourself or just eating bread only to save a little bit more money so you can get the house quicker but it's about finding the right balance of knowing that you still have to eat right now and enjoying some of the more pleasurable things like a steak every once a while.
You want to avoid the extremes, now maybe it might work for you but make sure to look for something that is sustainable. Even if you do decide to cut certain luxuries like the foods that you eat you got to make sure that it helps sustain your health so just eating canned foods you still might get the nutritional value but with the cost of higher sodium intake and that might affect your blood pressure that's going to affect your overall health.
Developing patience
To help incorporate delayed gratification you must develop patience to be able to be willing to experience the hardships to get to where you envision or what you want. Really come to see this as a test to how much you’re willing to endure to get what want. One of the great things that Warren Buffett the legendary billionaire investor, says money in the stock market goes from the impatient to the patient meaning that when shareholders of companies that are great yet their stock prices are not reflected in it because of whatever uncertainty, whatever bad news or perceived bad news the impatient investor will dump those stocks because they're not seeing the performance in the short term.
Those patient investors that are willing to sit on their hands and let things play out eventually reap the rewards of having the stock price appreciate in value over time. If you look at the stock price of NVIDA which is an innovative semiconductor company their stock prices have dropped over 50% a couple of times since it was publicly traded yet it has had performance of well over 21,000% during that time.
But being able to hold on in turbulent times is very unsettling. It can be taxing on your outlook because your emotions are being pulled in so many different directions. As long as you can remember what it is that you're ultimately working towards that's really going to help you pull through to stick with it. Your reason for why you do anything is going make it that much stronger to pull through but when you don't have a why it's much more likely to give into the short term not being able to stick with it to see how things can materialize.
Some simple things you can do to build up your patience is growing a plant from seed, and it can be something small. This gets you into the framework that getting to your destination is a growing process that is filled with many different stages. The better care you show for it the better chance you have of correcting any deficiencies or problems that come along as it's trying to grow into its potential. And sometimes even if you do the best you can that plant may not thrive but the better care you show for the higher probability you have that it will succeed.
Another simple thing to do is actively read. Reading builds up patience because it's about absorbing the content to see what's going on and process the information. These are just some examples to help you develop your patience where you can see things through a lot better. Try other simple things that work for you but this gives an idea of certain specifics that can help you get to delaying gratification.
Saying no often
Another helpful tactic to get into this mode is consistently saying no to many of temptations all around you or at least put a limit to certain things that you enjoy. You might do things like limiting your TV or phone time for entertainment use for two hours a day at most. This allows you to get a little taste of what you want and then you can slowly start to wean yourself off from it. Sometimes just cutting things out completely can be very difficult as there is a bit of a withdrawal period where you're longing for those pleasurable things.
From there you can work your way up to consistently saying no to a lot of things that are not aligned with the objective or the goals that you're striving for. The more you say no to things pulling you in different directions the better on track you keep yourself. Think of what a lot of great athletes or people of great triumphs did to reach their heights, it's not just about what they did do but it's about what they didn't do.
Many of these high-performance athletes must say no to late nights, no to junk food, no to hitting the snooze button and sleeping a little longer. They got to say no to going on extended vacations because that is cutting into to their training sessions. They must manage their time, mind and bodies so they can be their best to perform their best.
So if you're hard at work aiming to get a certain certification or a certain degree or getting in shape, how much you say no to things all around you will make you more efficient. The less you say no the less energy you have at what you’re aiming for. The longer you holdoff on getting that degree or getting in shape the more out of reach it seems.
Time is our biggest asset and the better you spend it doing things that are meaningful to you the better you set yourself up in the grand scheme. If not, things feel a lot more meaningless, and the overall outlook of the big picture seems like constant missed opportunities. Saying no ultimately gives you more time to prepare for those bigger gains later on.
Build up tolerance to dissatisfaction
Eventually you build a tolerance to not needing to be satisfied consistently which results in disappointment being less bothersome because you expect it and know how to navigate it. So it’s not all doom and gloom where you give into it but understanding that it can get ugly in the trenches and you can ride it out.
Being mentally prepared for this beforehand allows you to absorb those powerful shocks to remain composed where you have a better chance to think with a clear mind and not be so dependent on favorable outcomes. Where you have been through many droughts of gratification and you’re still able to forge ahead. Knowing this just further strengthens your resilience that feeds your confidence. This really gets you better acclimated to delaying gratification, it’s your training ground to get you detached from pleasure.
Think back to eating that donut, it becomes less appealing because the dissatisfaction of not eating it is no big deal. You think about the long-term that willing to pass up in feeling good now will likely mean a greater sustained, subtle satisfaction later on. The instant pleasure of having sugary dough spikes blood sugar levels really high only for those levels to plummet significantly quickly that makes a person feel lethargic and unmotivated to do anything.
And that’s what instant gratification is, it spikes your overall feeling quickly for a short time only to setup for a big drawdown quickly and then you’re more likely to stay down, holding yourself back. Having this in your mental framework then prepares you to say no to it when it does arise because you know the reasoning behind wanting to delay gratification. If you can hold off now the payoff is building into something greater in the long-term.
Final thoughts
Come to ask yourself if you're willing to wait for things that you really want and much of the time it will involve sacrificing instant gratification. To know and say that you're willing to do the hard stuff, stick with things even through the difficult and painful moments knowing that it's going be worth it. Make your choices that align with the big picture of what you envision for your life instead of what feels good right now. Avoid being consumed with the short-term because eventually it will pass. That potential short-term pleasure takes your focus away from the consistent compounded work that it takes to make a difference in what you want.
By adopting these helpful habits of being patient saying no consistently to a lot of things that pull you in different directions and being able to tolerate dissatisfaction they all add up to better self-control. And better self-control increases your chances of creating the life of success that you want because it ultimately falls on you. Nobody else is going to make sure that you're doing all the right things. Delay gratification so you can make the second half of your life better than the first half.
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