Generally, we all have an idea of what success is, which tends to be a life of luxury that can make us feel secure and that's what we are all working towards on some level. For some, that is the ultimate goal. The idea of having that secure job that provides that lifestyle or somebody else providing that lifestyle for you. The definition of success is the accomplishment of an aim, commonly attaining fame, wealth, or social status. Many times, those around us affect how we view what success is and we don't give enough thought into defining what success means to us individually.
The common things of having a beautiful spouse, wonderful children, a nice house, a nice car, a highly regarded job title, and abundance of cash seem desirable but that is not the case for everyone. This cookie cutter way of living is not going to fit many people. In fact, it can feel suffocating that they are being limited from what they truly desire. That they feel that they need something much more and different from what they have been told.
Just because others are doing it and seem to be happy with it does it mean it's right for you. When you think about it, we all have different perspectives that affect the values and priorities that we have so naturally we all should have a different path to what success is. For some it's about more than just an accomplishment, but it's about a purpose, the reason for which you do something.
Allow your unique perspective to help you define your success is and upholding your values are a part of it. When you can do that, you give yourself a better chance of enjoying the process of getting there that is going to drive you to operate with tremendous energy. Just know that whatever it is you define your successes as, avoid waiting for confirmation or acceptance from those around you. While they may have your interest at heart, they don't see things the way you do, and they won experience them the same way.
For some people, they haven't even thought to find what their own way should be other than what has been conventionally the norm. You're the one who has to live with yourself every day and not everyone else. So make sure it's the right fit for you and own it. The more you come to embrace this, the more irrelevant the opinions of others will influence what your definition is. Remember that failure along the way is not a bad thing it's just something that's inevitable that's going to help you get to what your success is.
Define your values
Begin by defining your values. Maybe what you value is your time because you like to do what you want, when you want. That you operate at a very high level when you have autonomy. The fact that other people who watch over you might irk you to the point of not wanting to be there at all because it undermines your self-discipline.
Another one of the things that you might value is respect for yourself and other people. That positions, hierarchy, rankings, or titles mean very little to you because you believe everybody deserves to be treated with the same level of respect. Whether it’s the CEO of a company or the janitor of that same company. But sadly, many people do not. Or maybe you value your space, both from a physical standpoint and a mental one. Having lots of green space around you with distance but also for the privacy of people not having tabs on you.
These values can shape what you define success as which could be a lifestyle to create an environment you desire. This could be the best fit for you to break free from the pact so you can do it your way. Many other places are just my way or the highway, fit this mold if not, you're not cut out for it. What you’ll find out is your irregularities may not align with the traditional sense of what success is. It’s okay to be off a little bit because its going to help you go your own path. This just means you are off from the norm and from conforming. Knowing what your values are will make clear what you're ultimately aiming to accomplish.
Find your passion
We all have passions whether we realize it or not. For some, following their passion comes naturally and they use it to measure their success. For others, maybe it’s not obvious but it is within them. When you structure your life around your passion, success will follow. Passionate people are more determined, less discouraged by setbacks, and have increased focus and efficiency. Knowing your passion and follow it is a great starting point. Keeping it simple will save time and knowing what to look for.
Too many times the general definition of success is to be at the very top of what you're doing. This dog-eat-dog mentality breeds the all or nothing attitude that limits growth for all of us. Competition is sometimes seen as a threat, that competitors need to be eliminated or at least be put down to stay ahead. But what is great about competition is it makes us get better. The stronger the competition, the more we have to challenge ourselves and grow. If you view competition as the other dogs will eat you, then be better for it by just focusing on yourself and not trying to eat them or be eaten.
Know your ideal day
Envision what you see yourself doing on a day-to-day basis including all the small details. Start by looking at how your ideal day would look like, from what time you would wake up, what would you do in the morning and with who would you do it with? What activities would you do that you enjoy that's bigger than yourself and who would you do it with? Would most of your day be spent at home indoors or outdoors, traveling to the office or traveling long distance from one site to another?
How many hours a day would you do what you intend to do and why would you do it? What food would you eat on a regular basis and would you make it yourself or somebody would make it for you? Would you go out to eat and enjoy the meal or would you just grab a quick bite and get back to what you were doing? What would you do in the evenings and what time would you go to bed?
What would be the highlight of your day, what would be the low light of your day? What would be the boring stuff of your day that you would be OK with? These types of questions might seem odd to ask yourself but what many people come across is not seeing how their life can unfold because they were kind of just going with the opportunities that had the least resistance.
Understand what you will not tolerate
It's going to be very crucial to know what you will not tolerate throughout your day. Knowing where you draw the line is going to be clear of the things to weed out from your life. When you don't know where you stand different things will creep into your life and you'll become OK with it since you have not defined what will be accepted and what will be rejected. Maybe you have a boss who's very demanding and demeaning at times. Always yelling and if you don't know that is something you won't tolerate then eventually, you'll come to accept it and say that's just the way my boss is, he's just doing his job to ensure things are running smoothly.
If you don't understand what you do want and what you don't, you'll tend to accept the things that come your way and sometimes this can be good sometimes this can be bad depending on your perspective. Being unaware is more likely to keep you in the things you have already known and experienced. Asking yourself and answering these questions is going to give you a better idea of what exactly success looks like on a day-to-day basis. There are many high-achieving individuals who are so dedicated to what they do because they truly enjoy the process. If you're not enjoying what you're doing it can be a miserable process. Can not enjoying the things you constantly do, mean success. It could be if the only thing that matters is achieving a certain outcome.
What success feel like
When we pursue success, it is because in its simplest form we are pursuing an emotion. We are seeking internal satisfaction from an external thing that we are doing. Understand the emotions you are striving for because success comes down to enjoyable experiences. We seek food to satisfy our hunger, we seek doing good things for our loved ones to make sure they are well taken care of, and we pursue having financial freedom because it gives us security that is one less thing that worry about. Whatever it is we do, ultimately, we are chasing the things that trigger an emotion.
For most of us the emotions were ultimately trying to experience is that of happiness but there's an array of so many different forms of happiness such as laughter, pride, pleasure, feeling loved, in awe, excitement, curiosity, compassion, connectedness, abundance, admiration, empowerment, generosity, gratitude, inspirations. There's so many more, whatever it is they all differ in some way. You can experience pleasure from eating your favorite food, be connected by getting to know different people, feel compassion by helping someone in need, admiration for meeting great people, pride for the rewards you obtained, or excitement for the possibilities of the future. Whatever your success is, just know the feelings that are associated with what you're striving for.
Also be aware of those emotions that are going to be painful because they will come, and you will endure them at some point on your road to success. You'll always experience emotions such as irritation, anger, worry, fear, embarrassment but you got to be able to manage when they arrive to not give in to them because if you do then you'll start to experience petty ones like jealousy, despair, and pity. These emotions can cloud your judgment making you want to throw in the towel and give up telling yourself it's too difficult.
By going through these scenarios ahead of time you'll be better prepared to handle yourself in these low points. So understanding which emotions you're chasing and which ones you're going to need to regulate will help you stay composed so you can continuously make strides and stabilize when your world seems like it's been rocked. This will help you gain a big picture point of view to understand that it will be a process of highs and lows.
Remove external things from success
Many times, in this pursuit of what each of us determine what success is there might be something like a physical reward, accolades and other external reinforcements that makes us feel good about ourselves. One thing to ask yourself is if all those external things were removed from that part of success, would you view the definition of success any differently. Sometimes all the rewards that come with a certain level of success entices us to pursue them. That it can cloud us from the right reasons to do it.
If your dream is to become a musician because of the fame, then it's going to be very difficult to fuel that fire to be good at what you do. But if you do it because you love to create music that uplifts people and brings them together for the better than this will fuel you in those tough times. Or you may want to start their own business for the primary reason of making a lot of money but if that's the main reason then the motivation for it may not be as strong. Now maybe if you say you want to start your own business because you truly value the opportunity to have more freedom so you can let your creative side flow then this is going to give you greater motivation internally and is a great reason to do so.
There are times where the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow can make us look past that long hard struggle of what we're about to go through to reach that end goal. That it might not be as rosy and smooth as you might have envisioned. And when you happen to find that out and your reason for doing it is not strong enough, then you're more likely to give up on it. If this is the case, then maybe that is not the right definition of success for you. Aim to have a strong enough reason internally of why you define what success is to you. Being motivated with little to no attachments to external factors will be a foundational piece to sustainably striving for success.
Definition of success will change
Your definition of success will change over time as you progress into different parts of your life. Each one of our lives has different phases and these phases will have slightly different definitions of success, or they can be quite drastic. This change will come from that perspective that you develop through all the different experiences that you gain. As we start off our lives it’s all about enjoying the things around us, allowing our curiosity and imagination to lead the way. But then as you start to approach the teenage and adult years it becomes a lot more about the end results which is why success tends to be so focused on because it's a measuring tool of whether your performance was good enough or not.
And in these years that energy that you have with the ambition comes together to form potentially magnificent results if you're willing to see the process through. Make sure to foster both because they'll come times in your life where it'll be much easier to cave in because of the obstacles along the way. People will want to see you fall so make sure to keep them away from you. Keep the negative energy away because it can be infectious. Once you reach a certain level of success, you’ll start to search for something more and this is when that definition will change. This is just something that naturally happens when the foundation of success is about progress.
A fixed mindset can be at the top and will constantly try to prove themselves for validation doing the same thing repeatedly remaining in place, seeking approval that they are worthy. A growth mindset will move on to different challenges once their interest has peaked where they become motivated from an internal want for the next worthwhile pursuit. Generally what changes is more abundance may help you realize that you had more than enough and it becomes about giving back to others to help them succeed at whatever they choose.
Sometimes what changes our perspective is an eye-opening experience in a short period of time that makes us reevaluate the values we have. Where it could have been all about working hard, constantly pursuing the next business adventure which would leave you with less time to enjoy with your family and friends. To now working less and making more time for your loved ones because of experiencing a health-related issue that made you realize that the time well spent is critical to living a successful life.
Success is purpose
Ultimately make success all about your purpose. Your purpose is something that is greater than yourself, the reason for why you do anything that will pull you in that direction. Those days that you feel down or lazy of not wanting to do anything, that purpose you have reminds you of a greater contribution beyond yourself. There's only so much pleasure we can individually enjoy but when you serve a purpose your excitement and passion further leads the way that makes you want to share with others so they can experience the same thing you do. The connectedness forms strong bonds that create wonderful memories that improve the quality of our lives. We can all probably recall our greatest memories way better and faster than we can our greatest material things. It is why we reminisce that brings about that sensation of nostalgia of wanting to do it again.
Those memories that you decide to create will determine how successful you feel and not the physical rewards alone. Being purpose driven will enhance the quality of what you do in everything you do. For some living out their purpose is what success is all about because it brings fulfillment. That no amount of wealth and recognition will live up to knowing the fundamental things that drive you to do what you do. It's almost like you gain a sense of this enormous power that drives you to operate with a high amount of conviction. Even in those times where things become unclear and, in some cases daunting, you still have that confidence to figure things out. Almost as if uncertainty does not weigh you down because that self-doubt has been put away.
Being able to live with purpose strips away all the distractions so you know what exactly to focus on. It can be difficult to operate without a purpose because of the tendency of not knowing what to do that can lead to hesitation that trigger that self-doubt. Almost as if indecision is what becomes predominant because you might be looking to know if what you are doing is right. But once you're able to find your purpose a greater confidence is unleashed that makes you better equipped to handle the rough storms ahead and truly appreciate the opportunity you have.
Final thoughts
Whatever path you choose to success, make sure that you define it. Aim for it to not be the final destination of where you are going but how you choose to live. In our pursuit is what makes life worthwhile and not the end result. Do it for the right reasons so it aligns with who you are and what you stand for.
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