Holding yourself accountable is the first step in taking control of your life. It means that you are taking responsibility for your actions and inactions that ultimately reflect what is your life. In the short term it might seem that what happens to you is not a result of what you do. That things happen to you unjustly and unfairly that complicate your life and can make you feel like you have very little power to do anything about it. There is the tendency of when you choose to take action at something you want to accomplish and you don't get the desired results, you might conclude that you were not responsible for why you didn't achieve your goal. It might make you feel that you did everything in your power or at least enough to deserve what you were aiming for.
The reaction will be to deflect the blame and put it on somebody else so you don't feel down about yourself. Many times, seeing things on a short-term basis makes you veer off from the consistency that you need to put in at whatever you choose to do. This could be falling short of achieving the test score you are striving for or failing to nail the big project you want to complete can get you to think about all the things outside of your control of why they affected you from getting you what you want. You might think that the teacher doesn't like you and that's why you didn't get the test score you wanted or that not enough time was given to you to complete the project.
When you start to look for reasons outside of yourself you are ultimately deferring your life to be dictated by others and the things outside of your control. To be fair each one of us is naturally biased where we see things from our individual perspective so how we feel makes us justified in what we think. Our 1st-person point of view keeps us in that defensive mode that makes it feel like others are attacking us.
To help overcome this, seeing things from a long-term point of view can help you better hold yourself accountable for everything that you do. This helps you to understand what's going on right now and how that's going to affect you later down the line. Having a greater runway for your life, knowing that you have more miles to travel can give you the sense that things will materialize eventually with consistently being accountable to yourself. It’s knowing that not everything is going to play out the way you expect it to, but you always can focus on the things within your control. Your attitude and actions are the things that you are responsible for.
What accountability gives you
When you start to continuously hold yourself accountable, you cultivate the sense of initiative that keeps you in the go mode of what more can you do that leads to progress in your life. It gets you out of the waiting mode, of waiting for things to happen for you, hoping for things to turn out your way. Where that energy of waiting turns into energy used in continuously staying prepared. That you are taking action for yourself and not expecting others to give you direction on how to do things. This essentially gives you the ability to self-regulate yourself to know what you did right, what you did wrong and what you could do to improve. This makes you less sensitive and fragile when things start to become tough. So when you fall short of whatever it is you're striving for, it removes excuses as your shield to protect the ego who thinks it can do no wrong. You can see the truth that makes it more bearable to process the information so you can use it to be stronger.
The more accountable you become to yourself the more confident you become in who you are because you begin to take yourself more seriously. That when you tell yourself you're going to do something you do it and when you make mistakes you own up to them and are not seen as something that should be avoided but something that should be acknowledged. So if somebody calls you out or tries to help you in seeing things that you could have done better, you’ll be willing to accept what they have to say.
This helps you move past that uncomfortable feeling and able to live a life of great adventure in the face of uncertainty and risks when most people would long to have that type of courage to follow what their hearts truly desire and not merely conform to what is the safest route. Holding yourself accountable empowers you to be your own person to know that being alone is OK because you have developed yourself into a person who has enough belief in what they can become and achieve. This also helps you to develop that self-discipline that ensures you are doing what you need to without the need of someone else supervising if you're doing it properly. You create your own opportunities simply through curiosity and pushing your boundaries.
Holding yourself accountable can be overwhelming because there can be times where you put too much pressure on yourself to get things done. Sometimes this can be a good thing because it can light a fire underneath you to get you moving but too much pressure can be a bit self-defeating to the point where it causes you to second guess yourself that leads to inaction. This can be difficult at times, especially in the beginning as you start to get in the process of holding yourself accountable. What many of us really want is autonomy in our lives, having the ability to make our own choices because it makes us feel that we dictate our lives, which we do. We need to regain that sense of belief that our choices will impact how our lives play out. Let's start to explore ways on how to effectively implement strategies that can help you be accountable to yourself.
Start with your attitude
To begin holding yourself accountable start off with your attitude. While there are many things out of your control you always can choose how you respond. Remind yourself everyday of whether things go your way or not, your actions will have a ripple effect so act in a way that produces long lasting beneficial change. Will you pout and complain when things don't go as expected, or will you reflect on what you gained from that experience. Your attitude will go a long way in determining how well you handle yourself in everything that you face because it builds momentum in whatever direction you take it.
The more pessimistic your attitude is the more you will limit yourself to what you can do but the more optimistic your attitude is the more action you will take that allows for greater possibilities. This is what's going to drive you to do anything. Your inactions will have consequences because it will mean more opportunities passing you by. Generally, there is the thinking that only action has consequences but the things that you don't do can be just as costly or even more so if you decide to do nothing.
So not venturing off into a new career or on your own, starting up your business could mean losing out on a life of fulfillment that goes beyond just recognition and money. It could mean sacrificing all the things that you could be simply because you chose to have an attitude that limits you from a life of adventure and uncertainty. It will leave you with a feeling of wondering about all the possibilities that might have passed you by eating away at your inner self. Your attitude will set the belief whether you can or can't.
Complaining, excuses, and explanations
Immediately stop complaining, finding excuses, or explaining yourself to other people. The moment you start to do this is when you're looking for some sort of sympathy to excuse yourself from taking on the burden. We all want our thoughts, our beliefs, our actions to all line up with the outside world and when they don't there's a tendency to find a reason for it and it's easy to find the things that are not yourself to not damage your self-image.
Complaining makes you state an annoyance, excuses make you lessen the blame, while explaining yourself tries to find facts or ideas to justify something. These three things can be a hindrance to holding yourself accountable because it keeps you in the cycle of just ruminating why you need to defend yourself and the more you defend yourself the less action you are willing to take. This makes you believe that you're always in the right and you'll be looking to dissuade anybody who disagrees with you.
So instead, aim to find what went wrong and what you could have done better. This gets you out of the mode of who was at fault and puts your energy into continuously finding solutions. And if you remember from the topic developing yourself talk using the 2nd and 3rd person point of view will help you give some distance, so you're not as emotionally attached to the situation. Being able to absorb that emotional punch to the face will be key so you can stay composed and accept the responsibilities for your action.
People will come to respect and trust you far more for being able to own up to your mistakes than being seen in a flawless light. When you do this, it signals to people that it is okay to have faults and be willing to acknowledge them and not merely suppress them. This gives others calmness knowing that we all can accept our full selves. It means that the words you say will carry more weight as people will truly listen to what you have to say as they know the high standard you hold yourself to.
But this gets overlooked because most people are afraid to be seen for anything less than what they want to appear because others might have conditioned them that the faults, we all have are weaknesses that make us weak. That it exposes them for not being enough. This is so limiting because it paints a picture of things in a good or bad manner, whether you are or you're not and this is such a lazy perspective to take.
If you really take a look at it there is so much middle ground in between so it's not solely whether you're good enough or not. Avoid seeing yourself as is but look for the effort and progress that you’re making because over the long run this is what's going to make the difference in holding yourself accountable. It is human nature for people to criticize others for their shortcomings, which is why we all tend to avoid being seen in that manner. Instead, you can be the change that shows others that we should all focus on what can be done and not focus on the mistakes along the way that ridicules their effort.
Clarify what you want
Clarify the things that you are continuously striving for such as your values, your goals or the standard that you set for yourself. The more you know what that is the better chance you have at aiming properly to achieving it. It is very difficult to manage what you are not able to measure. Having a goal of earning an annual income of $5,209,560 post tax by October 3rd, 2028, is a lot more clear then having the goal of I want to be financially free.
Having a clear definitive goal of what you want to achieve you can then start to formulate ways to hold yourself accountable to eventually attain it. This could include making sure the business that you operate earns $100,000 in the first 1 year and it grows 179% in sales annually, living on only $18,000 a year. These defined metrics give you a clear definition on how you can be accountable to yourself. Without them some days you'll feel like you are living up to what you expect and other days it won't feel like it.
Having an outline of actions you need to take to get to what you're striving for with weekly or monthly deadlines will help you further in your pursuit. And it doesn't have to be complicated, it could be where you set your values as making sure you have 30 minutes of daily alone time where you can read, exercise or just be alone with your thoughts undisturbed. Make it something where you enjoy the process and it is actually attainable because this will elevate you to new heights.
Whatever it is that you are aiming for know the reasons why you want it as this will give you more of a commitment to it. The stronger the reason for what you're doing, the greater the connection that helps you see it through. Simply saying that you want more money is not going to give you a greater connection to what you're striving for but if you say having financial freedom will give you the ability to give more of your time to make a greater impact on the world will resonate more. And writing these things out can help you further realize what it is you want, where you move it from just as a thought to tangible words that you can read back to yourself.
Take action
To realize the things you want take some sort of action, no matter how small. This will get you in the rhythm of moving towards it. Small acts on a daily basis can add up to massive results overtime even if it's things like saving up a few dollars on a monthly basis to get you financial freedom, reading a few pages a day, exercising to get you sweating and your heart pumping. The more you're able to do this the more it occupies your focus that leads you to putting more of your energy towards it. It'll override many other things that eventually become your habits. It is estimated that at least 40% of what we do daily are habitual so the more actions that you repeat eventually become the habits that stick with you. Make sure they are habits that are going to serve you well and not hold you back.
Even a small act where you tell yourself to get up on the 3rd alarm ring when you wake up can go a long way into saying what you mean. It further builds that self-discipline within you. There will be times where there are obstacles that get in your way from taking action so come up with a plan to overcome them. These might be common distractions like your phone, the TV, or even your friends. These things can bring you good fun but too much of it will take time away from the action you need to take.
So, if you want to live a healthy lifestyle too much time in front of the TV is going to affect how healthy you can live because there's going to be a tendency to want to sit down and consume entertaining information. To reduce this potential distraction maybe you exercise first thing in the morning to get it done and then this allows you to enjoy all the other activities.
Have an accountability group
Many times it can be difficult to go at it alone and when you find yourself in this situation look for a support system were you all can be stronger together. While many of us like to think our willpower is strong enough to get us through whatever it is we're facing it can be tiring at times and just know it's OK to ask for help. Having a support system that holds you accountable can help reinforce the responsibility that you need to take for yourself. This is really evident in team sports where the performance of a single teammate is going to affect the overall team. Having that camaraderie brings a sense of belonging and a duty for each individual to give their best effort going forward. They can be uplifting and encouraging that share similar goals or values that give you extra juice to go about your daily life.
They can give you perspective of what they see of you that you might have blind spots about. It could be that you're struggling with not having enough time to get your goals completed by the deadline you set but they might give you advice in telling you that your deadline might be a little too stringent that causes you to rush things and not do it properly. Or it could be that they see your goals as not being clearly defined, which makes it harder for you to take action towards what you want. They are also a big help in catching you when you are complaining or finding excuses. While we all like to think that we are self-regulating ourselves there are times where we fall into that trap of being sucked into negativity.
Sometimes all we need is someone to pull us out of the cycle that we couldn't get ourselves out of. Studies have shown that showing your progress on a weekly basis to someone who supports you can increase achieving your goals from 22% to 88%. Just know that things can get heated in holding each other accountable but stick with it because it's going to make you stronger. Remaining in comfort keeps you the same, embracing discomfort prepares you for greater challenges down the road that comes with bigger rewards and overall greater satisfaction in what you do.
Final thoughts
Accountability to yourself creates initiative in your life that brings about tremendous opportunities, corrects things before they become problems and problems become more correctable. You gain a greater respect and confidence in yourself that allows you to follow your own path to stand up for what you're striving for even when you're the only one. It gives you a sense that you will make things work for you through your resolve and vision. Your curiosity will lead you to new and exciting ideas. Stumbling and falling down will be a part of the process when you own up to your actions, but understand you always have the power to do something about it. It makes you more independent and will elevate your thinking to see things beyond what is there. The moment you stop holding yourself accountable is the moment your life can get out of control. Do you want a boss in your life to tell you
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